Friday, January 13, 2017

angry girl journal 01.13.2017

this is pretty spot on.  no wonder whenever people try to gauge your sanity, for clinical or for interview purposes, they try to show you pictures.  it helps them determine if you're a psychopath.

i know i am good; and i'm not trying to be boastful, just honest.  certain capabilities and talents were passed on to my genes and i have been utilizing those talents as much as i can.  however, if you have spent your entire life being doubted and unappreciated by the people who should be encouraging you, it gets to you.  that no matter how great you are, you will never be good enough.  it's sad because for people who don't understand, it will all seem like you're just fishing for compliments when you're not.  you simply just have low self-esteem because it has been part of your DNA.  the great thing about it is that it always keep you pushing harder, working hard to be better, but it also kills you inside.  there's always that nagging feeling, that voice inside your head that you could've done better and that you're a disappointment to yourself.  i know because i have to overcome that thought everday. i have to tell myself everyday i can do better, but that i don't have to kill myself every time i fail because i am enough.