Saturday, September 24, 2016

never, never, never: because i never forget

my parents were big fans of music and they loved Shirley Bassey.  there weren't any records in the house, save for the vinyls of the James Bond movie OSTs.  my mother hardly sang in the house. it was always my father.  he used to be in a combo, after all.  but this one, she sang whenever she heard it play on the radio on Sundays.  and she sang it well.

"Never, Never, Never"

I'd like to run away from you, but if you never found me I would die 
I'd like to break the chains you put around me, but I know I never will 
You stay away and all I do is wonder why the hell I wait for you 
But when did common sense prevail for lovers when we know it never will 
Impossible to live with you, but I know, I could never live without you 
For whatever you do 

I never, never, never want to be in love with anyone but you
You never treat me like you should, so what's the good of loving as I do? 
Although you always laugh at love, nothing else would be good enough for you 
Impossible to live with you, but I know, I could never live without you 
For whatever you do 

I never, never, never want to be in love with anyone but you
You make me laugh, you make me cry, you make me live, you make me die, for you 
You make me sing, you make me sad, you make me glad, you make me mad, for you 

I love you, hate you, love you, hate you 

But I'll want you till the world stops turning
For whatever you do 
I never, never, never want to be in love with anyone but you
I love you, hate you, love you, hate you 

But I'll want you till the world stops turning
For whatever you do 
I never, never, never want to be in love with anyone but you
I love you, hate you, love you, hate you 

But I'll want you till the world stops turning
For whatever you do 
I never, never, never want to be in love with anyone but you

it is hard living all alone.  i may seem to be okay, but there are days when i'm not and i miss them. this is one of those days.

Friday, September 23, 2016

because singing frees the soul of its pain

had the opportunity to perform the song Gravity earlier. i am able to sing it now, without crying, because the source of my addiction, my pain, is gone. i am blessed to be free of that pain. it was a very emotional song.

that, and closing my eyes keeps me from getting nervous, conscious, and awkward while singing.

Wednesday, September 07, 2016

angry girl journal 09.07.2016

i have ideas in my head that could make for a good story.  but just like my imaginary conversations with you, they're scattered, they're incoherent and they never leave the board. if ever i get the chance to sit and let the words flow, i want to try to avoid all manner of cliches and stereotypes so it doesn't just become any story.   it is OUR story, after all.

maybe when i'm ready, i'll write them all down.  maybe when i'm ready, all the banter in my head between you and i can be reality.