aym situation report 06.30.2016

it's been two weeks since you last got in touch with me, and while i was quite preoccupied with work the whole time, i did miss your messages.  it's not like i died or that my day went incomplete because i didn't hear from you.  it's just that these messages have been the highlight of my day for quite some time and mostly during those times when i felt that the only one i had was you.  if anything, you had impeccable timing.

i think about you, i worry. i hope that you are always well.  while i did not hope for anything romantic, i had hoped that we would have a relationship that was not based on the premise that you could one day be able to give your multi-level marketing speech to me and i would have to say, "No."  this is not my first rodeo, after all. but i do care about you and i meant all that i had said.  you have to experience me for who i am, not for who i can be to you financially.  everybody needs money, but i don't want that to be the basis of our friendship.

i want to be friends, and i can be a really great friend.  it's just too bad you didn't stick around to find that out.

angry girl journal 06.03.2016

i did not inherit my mother's good looks.  however, i do believe i got her patience, and her strength, how she always saw the good in people, even when they abused her kindness.  i'd like to believe i inherited her good heart. well, i did.  it has been shattered to pieces over the years, though.



now all i have is a wounded, beaten up black heart.  one that misses you so, Mama.