Monday, August 24, 2015

angry girl journal 08.24.2015

these thoughts again at this time of the year

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i think it takes a little bit of courage to admit to feeling this way, and an even braver feat to overcome it.

i fight it everyday.  i'm glad to always win. 

Friday, August 07, 2015

following up, Universe!

come on, Universe! it's twenty days before my birthday and i'm following up.

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nothing cool ever happens on my birthday so i just end up working; except maybe last year, which almost got ruined because some people just couldn't get over themselves for one day or the year before that when my gorgeous team took me out for lunch.

it turns out, 64, my crush, is an awful singer for a band vocalist, and 65, well, doesn't know i exist.  we do not breathe the same oxygen, apparently.  so i'm shooting even higher! Jared Leto can sing words from the yellow pages and i'd still think it's a symphony!

so how about it? 

Thursday, August 06, 2015

insert inspirational picture here

throwback to when i had longer hair, was 20 lbs lighter and sans the spectacles,  revealing my nose, one of many wonderful results of my parents' union.  during this time, i had quasi-relationships with 5 (not 1, not 2 but . . .) men who were either only interested in my body, my connections, my money or got off messing with my brain.  in short, i was single.  i have been, for the last twelve years.  my choice, not theirs.  

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Exhibit A

some well-meaning citizens have a theory that my singlehood can be attributed to my short hair, obesity and poor eyesight.   I DISAGREE.  unlike most women with long hair and stick figures, i walk faster and with a sense of direction, because they're too busy dragging their vaginas while flipping their goddamn hair.  as occupants of the 8th, 10th and 20th floors of my building can attest,  even with the excess cellulite, i can run around and get things done in my stilettos. i know the difference between "your" and "you're", "there", "their", and "they're"; and my short hair only accentuates my wonderful nose.  so no, i don't believe that is why i am single, as proven by Exhibit A.

i will not dumb down, will not pay for dinners, will not be a doormat,  will not be a damsel in distress, will not be someone's paramour, just so i can have what others call a "normal relationship" when all it is is mediocre.  i won't change for anybody but me. i'm too old and impatient to try to change for someone else. we all know that trying to be someone else doesn't end well and doesn't make anyone happy. i refuse to settle just for the sake of, even if it means being alone until the day my neighbors discover my dead body. 

As Amanda Jones (Some Kind Of Wonderful) had said:
"Between being someone for the wrong reasons, and being alone for the right reasons, I'd rather be right."