Tuesday, June 23, 2015

english brat 06.23.2015

you'd be surprised to know that we didn't speak any english at home growing up.

wait, what i am talking about? who's "we"?  i'm an only child!

i don't really like being told, "we took care of you growing up so you should help us now".  that's exactly why i DON'T want to help: you didn't teach me anything. you gave me a couple of bruises.  not intentionally, i know.  but just because we're related by blood, even if you didn't really help create the human being (or the monster) i've become, i'm supposed to give you money?  now, just because my mother was a wonderful human being who liked to help people who are so dependent they can't clean their own asses, it doesn't mean that i should too.  it doesn't work that way.

i can't even fix my own life and you have been so bad at this longer before i have been alive so you'd think you would know better than to ask me for help, right?

i don't like people who think i have an obligation to help them out because they think my life is considerably better off than theirs or just because i have gainful employment and they don't.  it's just like saying it's my fault i studied all those years and stayed away from a social life because it was fun.  it's my fault i worked hard to enjoy the little comforts i have now.  IT'S NOT.

i was raised not to rely on anyone, not to compete with anyone but myself, to work hard to get the things i want, not to rely on the charity of others.  damnit, i had to work for my father's acceptance and affection.

so if i speak really well in english, it's not because as my caretakers growing up, you spoke to me in english.  well, you did try to speak to me in english, but only because you wanted to train me to join beauty pageants.  i speak english well because of watching countless tv shows before they started dubbing them in Filipino. yeah, i am that brat, no thanks to you. so don't go asking for my hard-earned money, using guilt with me in order for me to help you out because it's about time you all grew a spine and started working instead of just waiting for people to give you charity.

seriously, can you please tell me why again i am the first person people go to when they need money? don't i have bills to pay too? oh, and are we even close?  people who cannot help you should not be giving you problems either.