Tuesday, June 30, 2015

angry girl journal 06.30.2015: nothing ruins friendship like a trust broken

as people who care about me know, i am very stubborn.  i have a good work ethic, i seem to be nice person but there are things i do on occasion that are bound to irritate people.

i'm quite liberated, and i will try anything once.  of course, age has tempered me.  there are certain things i did before which i don't see myself doing now.  but if and when i did, i still would follow the rules in my head, as far as sleeping around is concerned, namely:

1.  no shitting in the backyard;
2.  no fooling around with married people;
3.  no sex without commitment with the same person three times.*

kept me alive.  kept me sane.  of course, sometimes it doesn't work as effectively as i wanted it, but i survived.  no matter how much you protect yourself, you don't always come out unscathed and i have got the scars to prove it.

and while we are on the subject, here are my rules for betraying your friends, in favor of sex, money, fame, promotion, etc.:

1. when you're doing the right thing.  you can only "betray" your friends if despite sound advice, they choose to do something wrong i. e. a conflict of interest, commiting a crime or doing something evil,  and the reward of sex, money, or fame is just incidental.  if your friend is wrong and you've already warned your friend against doing a bad thing, but still they chose to do it, you do the right thing.  i know i would.  why would you want to make friends with bad people anyway? you are better off with people who have good heads above their shoulders.

2.  only if you're sure you'll get it.  if you're not sure, why would you risk your friendship (or even family) for something as shallow and superficial as that.  of course, when you get it, do expect that you woud lose a friend or two, right?  you can't throw your friends under the bus for superficial things and expect to still be friends with them after when you're not successful. that's the price you pay when you trade your friends on the way up. you get a new set of friends since you have the money or the fame to buy new ones.  just don't expect them to be true to you.  after all, you're not.

oh and say you're not successful.  you didn't get laid, you didn't get the money, you didn't get promoted, so you want your friends to comfort you, be humble enough to admit that you were wrong.  you can't stab your friends in the back and expect things to go back the way they were. it doesn't work that way.  even when they forgive you, they know now what your priorities are.  they know the first chance you get, you will sell them out for sex, money, fame.

friends and family, they will diss you, criticize you, but they always mean well.  delivery may be imperfect and hurtful, but only those really close to us, true to us, will tell you the truth that most people won't give us.  they have a license to diss us, but if anybody else says something bad against your friend, you protect your friend.  when in doubt regarding protection, refer to rule #1.

oh, and let's make it clear, we mean "sex", not love. friends fight over love, but the real friends, they get over it, if you choose love over friendship.  sometimes they get over it when you choose to get laid over friendship. how many times have i been ditched because of booty and vice versa? normally, when it's love for you but it's just ass for your friend, then the conflict starts.  it all depends on how strong your friendship is and how bad you want or need to get laid. sometimes your friends will even pimp you to get yourself some.  it's a judgment call. and lastly,

3.  you don't.  YOU JUST DON'T.  PERIOD.

*in addition to those rules, one that i learned from Bones, on dating younger guys:  date only those men whose age is half my age plus eight years