Sunday, March 29, 2015

Mariquina: we all have daddy issues

in last year's Cinemalaya,  i knew i had wanted to watch the following movies:  The Janitor, obviously, because of its hot guy ensemble and 1st ko si 3rd because growing up, i was a big Chicks to Chicks fan. i really wanted to see the other movie entries but the tickets got sold out pretty fast.  i didn't get to see Mariquina until earlier today.

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what really hooked me to Mariquina was the soundtrack.  when i heard Broken Strings playing, that alone made me want to see the movie.

judging from the trailer it would seem that the reason Imelda (Mylene Dizon) was estranged from her father, Romeo (Ricky Davao) was because she found out he cheated on her mother and even early on in the film, it would seem that way.  it isn't until we hear from the mother that was she really wanted was to live her life.  Romeo kept if from Imelda because he didn't want her to think that her mother was selfish for wanting to do something with her life and she grew up believing that it had always been her father's fault, especially after Tita Tess moved in with them.

what i liked about this film are the same things that made me cry, the things that scared me the most.

my mother didn't want to work, especially when she was sick, but my father thought that "working after chemotherapy"  would be good for her.  it was amazing how he could sleep at night when he made her miserable for being, "imperfect" when he was cheating on her all that time.  my father did a lot of things i didn't understand and my mother loved him.  she stayed even when he hurt her, because she knew she couldn't support me on her own.  i stayed after she died because i wanted to understand why he was so angry with me. i wanted to keep my promise to my mother to stay, to give him a chance.  he may have hurt us, but he meant well and he did those things out of love the only way he knew how.

so many scenes made me gasp as i was reminded of my own experiences growing up.  i knew my father was hard on my mother and me, especially since i was the only child and he pushed me to my limits. i knew that when he left, in my heart, i wasn't the daughter he wanted me to be.  i couldn't be as great as he had envisioned.  if he were still alive today, i know he would continuously get mad at me for the things i do wrong and control all that i say and do.  all of these made me the broken person i am today, but i know that all of these things he did so, were done out of love.