Saturday, September 06, 2014

angry girl journal 09.06.2014

i don't believe in ghosts.  i'm not scared of them, either.  i believe in the possibility that random circumstances occur and coincidences lead one to believe that ghosts might exist.  but i'm not afraid of them.  living alone has taught me that. besides, i'm too old to be afraid of ghosts.

in fact, i don't mind seeing my family one last time.  even if they appear to me as ghosts.  kinda like when Harry Potter saw his parents, and Cedric.  i want to be able to tell them how sorry i was that things weren't better, that i wasn't better.  i want to be able to tell them how much i love them one last time, tell them that every thing i do, whatever i try to be, i dedicate to them.

i am, however, afraid of human beings.  they are far scarier creatures.  you give them love and affection, you show them kindness, and they will stab you in the back.  not like animals.  we shouldn't compare because that's a great disservice to animals.  people are worse.  they plot against you and do mean and cruel things to hurt your feelings.  they are vile.

i know because i am human and i am capable of all of those things.  i don't do them but i know given the proper amount of provocation, i just might.