Saturday, August 23, 2014

angry girl journal 08.22.2014

i met with my classmates from high school earlier today because a friend came home from Canada with his family.  our class doesn't meet anymore unless somebody comes home from abroad.  he was surprised the people here in manila didn't know anything about each other anymore.

you took me home, Link, thank you.  i don't feel anything for you anymore, but it did hurt a little bit when she made a comment about you and your pastimes.  i mean, nobody really knows we were sleeping together, save for the other guy i slept with.  but that reminder that you (or that other guy) didn't see me as someone anyone would want to have a future with, was a bit devastating.  not to mention that ignorant and insensitive remark about me and the gay guy ending up together because we were the only ones from the class who were not yet married.

idiots.

come on.  while all of you were trying to be nice in order to search for a suitable life partner, i was busy trying to become a lawyer. that, and becoming a better daughter to my asshole dad.  it didn't work out for me, the better daughter part, or the lawyer part, but we all know how awesome i am now that married men want to sleep with me.

fuckers.

i opened myself to the idea that i could be in the same room again with the people who didn't like me very much in high school and tried to forget the part where i was trying to prove myself, whether that i'm better now or that they shouldn't have underestimated me then.  i am such a loving person now than who i was twenty years ago, and maybe that's why Annabel wasn't as well-adjusted as Bels is.  in a way, maybe Annabel needed to be awkward in order for Bels to emerge as the wonderful person that she is now.

so there.