Thursday, July 31, 2014

angry girl journal 07.31.14

i don't want anything to do with you.  i don't want you to know my new number, even if i know you're never going to call.  i don't want to give you the opportunity to know how to reach me.  you don't text or call to say you're sorry or that payment will be late anyway.  you don't care to have that bit of courtesy at all.

so i stopped caring about you.  i don't give a flying fuck what happens to you.  i don't want to give you a chance to try to borrow money, charm your way then make me feel guilty for the things i do right.

YOU OWE ME.  you abused my kindness.  you took my money and you got what was precious with me that i didn't want to part with.  i don't want you in my life.

I DON'T WANT YOU IN MY LIFE.

i cannot erase the four years i wasted just waiting on you to be a caring human being.  i cannot get them back.  but i can move on to do better things, avoid committing the same mistakes, and that includes allowing you to hurt me again.

you are not allowed to make me feel bad for getting mad at you for the things you did to hurt me.

never again.  so help me, God.