Monday, May 05, 2014

a way to get lost

i love Joseph Gordon-Levitt.  i think he's a great actor.  i don't get to see a lot of his movies, but when i do, they're always really good, if not amusing, to say the least.

when i found out he wrote, starred and directed this movie, Don Jon, i went ahead and searched for it.  i don't believe they showed it here in Manila.  you do know how conservative this country is, right?

 photo donjonposter_zpsba0698fb.jpg

Don Jon is about Italian-American Jon Martello, who cares only about a few things:  "my body, my pad, my ride, my family, my church, my boys, my girls, my porn".  for an attractive guy who can easily pick up girls in a bar and have his way with them, he prefers porn and masturbation to actual sex.  he meets a girl in a bar, Barbara (Scarlett Johansson) who, while attracted to him, prefers the traditional long-term courtship. she asks that he take night classes so that he can leave the service industry, meet each other's friends and  parents and watch romantic comedies.  one night after they had sex, she catches him watching porn while masturbating and they fight.  while he gets to lie his way out of it, he then proceeds to watch porn while in night school to keep her from catching him.

Jon meets  Esther, a middle-aged woman in his night class, who catches him watching porn while in class.  she attempts to apologize for an earlier awkward incident in which Jon encountered her weeping by herself at the college, but he brushes her off.  back at his apartment, Barbara confronts  Jon upon checking his browser history that he is continuing to compulsively watch pornography.  Jon tells her that  his interest in porn is the same as her interest in romantic movies.  disgusted, Barbara breaks up with him.

Jon tries to go back to his old lifestyle of watching porn, even in class but it is not the same.    Esther tries to offer advice to Jon, even lending him an erotic video, that she believes has a more realistic depiction of sexual relations, and he responds by initiating a sexual encounter with Esther in her parked car.  when Esther asks him why he prefers porn to actual sex, he replies that only in watching porn is he able to "lose himself", which is something he does not experience in actual sex.  Esther tells him that such an act is very one-sided, as sex, or making love, is about losing one's self in another and challenges him to try to masturbate without watching porn. he is unable to.  she invites him to his home and he finds out that she has been living alone after losing her husband and her son to a car accident fourteen months before.  she touches his hair and they have a sexual yet emotional connection that doesn't make Jon watch porn.

Jon finally tells his parents about his breakup.  his mother is upset because it means that she will not have any grandchildren and his father is disappointed in him for letting "a girl like that" slip away from him.  only his sister (who seems indifferent for the most part of the film, always on her phone, texting while at dinner or even in church) tells him that the break up was good for him, as Barbara only wanted him to fulfill her unrealistic romantic comedy fantasy.  Jon asks to meet with Barbara to apologize for lying to her about the porn.  she tells him that she only asked him for one thing but he failed.  Jon argued that she asked him too many things and he couldn't live up to her expectations.  she asks him never to contact her again.

Jon and Esther have a relationship,  and he feels they understand each other.  he loses himself in her, and he feels, she loses herself in him, and they get "fucking lost" in each other.

i thought that this was a good film. it was funny.  apart from The Avengers, Scarlett seems to always be that girl in the movies, you know.  Julianne Moore was hot.  in a way, i could relate to her.  not too many people will like this film (or maybe they would) as it deals with matter that we are embarrassed to talk about in public.   i know a lot of people masturbate, or watch porn and while i know it's not healthy, i don't lose respect for them.  it's all about respecting people's preferences and keeping an open mind.

***
i haven't lost myself in another for a long time.  i don't think i will ever be ready to do that anymore.  like i said, for a sensual person like myself, that is both weird and unusual, even disturbing. i'm just too afraid now, to open up that way to someone.  it would be nice if i could feel it again.  i have my guard up so high that even if i did want to, i would ruin it completely before it even has a chance to get anywhere.  it's just like the ASEAN integrating:  love is beneficial to all of us, but no matter how good it is for you, if you're not ready to deal with it yet, it will always fall flat and destroy you.

i want to be ready.  i want to get lost.  i just don't know if i ever will get lost again.  or if i can.