Tuesday, April 22, 2014

angry girl journal 04.22.2014

I'm at the front seat of the bus going home.
I wish that the bus would collide with another bus
And hit me
And kill me instantly

That's how bad i've been feeling since yesterday
That or slit my wrists

I just really want to cry right now

Sometimes God sets up really bad precedents

I know God loves me.  I am grateful He does.  I know there are people out there with far more worse troubles than mine.  I know God loves me.  there are just days when i cannot bring myself to believe it.

What i have going for me is the benefit of knowing better, that even if i have an emotional breakdown, or that i inflict pain on myself, that it will not solve anything.  I'm strong enough to know that even if I think about suicide, I know I wouldn't do it.

God, that trip to the boxing gym sure would've helped right now if i weren't so tired and i need to come in early again tonight.