Saturday, March 29, 2014

what the cock

 photo 2014-03-251309381_zpsdd44464c.jpg

my friend Chris and i saw this play called Cock, written by Mike Bartlett.  i looked forward to it, coming from the Rak of Aegis hangover i've been having for the past couple of days. not to mention, the deliriously painful LSS. i really didn't know what to expect. while we went over there for Topper Fabregas, who plays John, we left the theater falling in love with Niccolo Manahan.  Niccolo, whom we first saw in the play Next Fall (please be straight), stole our hearts as M, John's long time boyfriend whom he cheated on with a woman, W (Jenny Jamora),  while they were on a break.

watching M struggle, being the successful man that he is, to fight for his love for John, Niccolo was brilliant.  he was amazing.  i wanted to hug Chris. Niccolo's portrayal of M reminded me of Chris.  we felt for M, we felt Niccolo.  and we really wanted to slap Jenny and pull her hair.  kudos to Audie Gemora for playing F.  if only all fathers of gays and lesbians were as open and loving as F, there wouldn't be too many suicides in the world.
  
 photo cockposter_zps97870dc1.jpg

so that's the story:  John and M have been together for years, and John has always been attracted to men.  during an argument, he breaks up with M and has an affair with W. being confused with his feelings and deep attraction to W, he goes back to M to seek advice.  all the time, watching everyone, what i really wanted to do was hit John's head with a baseball bat.  nobody was putting a gun to his head, nobody was putting pressure on him to choose.  but the way he interacts with both M and W, makes you think he's just a really selfish guy.  i can feel his confusion, i know what it's like.  i've been there before.  i just thought there would be a point where he would decide and just man up and say, "this is what i want and both of you have to respect that".  but he didn't.

this play was emotionally draining for me, but these were very powerful, spectacular performances from all the actors.  you know that an actor is really great and really did her best when after the curtain closes, during cocktails, you still want to slap her and pull her hair.  i  thought Topper did great as John too, but like i said, Niccolo stole the show, stole my heart and it doesn't help that he is a lovable and friendly man off the stage.

yes, i have found my new addiction.

theater! what?

***
watching the play brought me back to a time when i was with two lesbians and a man. i remember the feeling.  the play was straining in itself but having to relive some part of my very confused life while watching them aggravated it.  i loved M then, i did, i loved her very much.  but had i the chance to make a choice (her persistence and refusal to walk away sort of made the choice for me), i would've wanted to be alone.  i would've wanted to focus on my studies and figure out what i really wanted.  sure, i didn't want marriage.  sure i wanted to have kids.  but i wanted to make sure i wasn't missing out and just going with the flow because it was easier than having to hurt someone's feelings.  i could've been a stronger John.

oh well.