Monday, November 18, 2013

angry girl journal 11.18.2013

usually, whenever i try my best to do something to impress a guy, it always ends badly. it doesn't last:  i tried losing weight, drinking until my liver couldn't bear it, gyrating like a gypsy, going as far as the other side of the city, losing money. the maximum i've stayed fixated on a guy (or girl) is three (3) months, not counting that last one which ended very horribly. that delusion lasted four years. anyway, this time, doing something to impress a guy (yes, it is a guy this time) is actually something i have been thinking about for a long time now.  this thing that i'm doing is actually good for me.  that it is getting the attention of a guy is just a bonus.

yes, people:  i have not been smoking (well, i'm still hot lol) for 18 days.  get that: EIGHTEEN DAYS.

this one i want to keep doing even after three months, and i'm over whoever it is i tried to impress. i don't live to impress. never have, not going to start now.

resolve is also my strong trait.


 photo 2013-11-18153338_zps8f361fca.jpg

for starters, i am not selling something.  i don't like using my full name, unless it's to sign a paper that's required by law, so the idea of using the middle initial is out of the question.  i don't want to ask how he feels.  he doesn't have feelings.