Tuesday, October 29, 2013

angry girl journal 10.29.2013

thank You, Lord, for all You've done
things both great and small
and for Jesus Christ, Your son
thank You most of all

You forgive us when we falter
You bring healing when we sin
You redeem our life from bondage
and renew us deep within


thank You, Lord, for all You've done
things both great and small
and for Jesus Christ, Your son
thank You most of all

see, i do have little moments of piety.

***

we did it!!! we pulled it off!!!

after so many days of organizing meetings, maneuvering around people's schedules,  and practicing for this very ambitious project, after all the stress just thinking about how to produce a budget, making sure everybody is wonderful and fulfilled and happy, all our efforts paid off.

this wasn't just four guys acting like a bunch of teenagers who couldn't keep it in their pants at the sight of hot-blooded young women.  these were about seventeen different people, with different schedules and priorities, different musical tastes, different attention spans who needed different approaches in order to be motivated and empowered, to bring out the things they haven't discovered about themselves.  for the last two or three weeks, they put their musical fate in my hands.

it is fulfilling. that intangible altruistic feeling that you've accomplished something and you were able to get other people to focus on that same goal and achieve it together.  that i have made them feel better about themselves is a great feeling to have and i'm glad i got to witness it unfold.  of course, that the person who should be worrying and doing all of this cannot grab a pair and step up was additional motivation.  it is tiring having to come up with all the solutions but the rewards reaped are priceless.

it is difficult, but i see a future in it.  it will pain me to let it go.

***

i had hoped for you to see me sing.  i looked pretty too.  too bad you didn't see it.

***

it's getting more and more inconvenient. not really painful, just really inconvenient.  i really need to call my doctor.

***

you amuse me and scare me at the same time.

i am allowed to be neither.