Tuesday, October 22, 2013

angry girl journal 10.22.2013

now i remember why i don't go to church anymore (aside from the hypocrites who dwell in it):  i cry whenever i hear the songs.  yes, much like when i cry every time i hear the Philippine National Anthem.  i know it's a really sappy reason, but now that i think about it, even singing the songs in my head brings tears to my eyes.

i love you, Lord
and i lift my voice
to worship You, oh, my soul rejoice!
take joy, my King, in what You hear
let it be a sweet, sweet sound
in Your ear  

that was a favorite when i was in second grade and until now, i still love the song.

Panginoon, aking tanglaw
tanging Ikaw ang kaligtasan
sa masama, ingatan ako
ang sugo mong nananalig sa'Yo              

that last one, now that i've paid much attention, seems like a direct translation of Psalm 25.  see, i'm not evil.  i'm actually really nice, i just don't want everybody else to know.

***

my parents didn't lie to me about my talents.  they knew i was good in singing,  but they never told me about it.  they knew i liked to write, but they never read anything i wrote.  we focused on my studies.  they didn't praise me too much, at least not to my face, so i'd keep working hard to be better.  i grew up thinking they weren't proud of me, but i'd eventually hear it from someone else that they were.  they didn't want it to get to my head.  and i love my parents for it.  it constantly reminds me that i'm not perfect, that i'm not the best, that someone will always be better than i am so i am never complacent.  of course, i wasn't confident either, but  it made me stronger.

kids these days, they're very pampered.  they always get praised, even for mediocre output.  they're a bunch of emotional crybabies; always have to be spoiled and criticism needs to be sugarcoated all the time so as not to, God forbid, hurt their feelings.  you can't slap them to teach them a lesson because you can get in jail for it so they have no sense of discipline.  they don't know to work hard for things because they're always used to getting their way.  they don't know the value of hard work.  they don't know if they have real talent or not.  they don't know a lot of things because they always have to be protected from the truth.

but tell you what:  your kids will find out anyway how harsh the world is, that not everyone in the world is nice, that they can't have everything they want given to them in silver platter, that they're not as great as they think they are, that life is hard.  and when they realize it the bitter way, they might just blame you for it, hate you for it.  so please, don't lie to your kids.  don't be too hard on them, but don't spoil them rotten.  it doesn't help them become good people if you do.  it doesn't help them at all.