Sunday, September 22, 2013

how do we spell awkward again? B - E- L - S

so i finally got my answer to the question, "should i ask M out?".  it came in the form of an extra ticket to the Rock Supremo show.

she was actually the first person i thought of asking to the show since she was the only person i knew who spent six years with Ballet Philippines.  i didn't ask her out because i had no idea what her circumstances were:  is she free on that day?  is she seeing anyone? that sort of stuff.  so i asked Chris, Beth and Brian out. Beth couldn't make it because it is getting very difficult for a pregnant woman to get around these days and Chris couldn't make it because he had to fly back to Singapore. i didn't really want to waste the ticket and i didn't really want to invite anyone who wouldn't appreciate the fusion of ballet and rock music.  so i asked M.

part of me wanted her to go but mostly i didn't want her to.  i still wished Chris could go.  but he couldn't and she could.  okay.

so we walk into the theater and who greets me when we get to our seats.  no less than  Jade and his wife, who doesn't remember meeting me, by the way, even if i've already been introduced to her twice.  well, i wasn't really that relevant to Jade for her to remember who i am. Brian asked me if i sent out a memo prior to the show.  by this time it got me worried as to who else would be there.

thankfully, the universe was kind and decided i had enough for tonight.

i loved the show immensely.  there were certain parts i couldn't help but cry, and not just because the man i loved for the better part of high school was there with his wife and the lesbian i considered living with for the rest of my life was seated right beside me.  i cried because of how poignant the contrast was of the two dancing pairs were:  the first pair, spoke of happier times, of free love; while the second pair, reflected pain, despair, a couple tried by their surroundings.  all this happening as Ebe Dancel and Kai Honasan narrate their story in music.  it was the most painful yet most beautiful thing i had ever heard.

when i saw the bands, especially Peso Movement, i stopped giving a fuck.  i saw Francis Reyes and it made me all giddy. i feel bad that i still haven't gone to the gym like he keeps telling me to.  but when he said it doesn't matter, as long as i'm happy, it did it:  it made me happy.  oh, and Japs Sergio is sooo hot.

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i wasn't expecting anything out of this show, other than a great time, which i did have. actually, now that i think about it, i could've gone to that show with just Brian and me and it would've been great.  going out with M is okay but not something i would do if i had a choice.  she's happy now and i'm glad for her.  there's just so much history there that i don't want to unearth anymore.

it made me think of Alex when i got home, though.  i get "thank you" a lot from the people who don't love me back.

bet that wasn't in my weekend love forecast.