Wednesday, July 24, 2013

NCIS: what will happen to Ziva?

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i've been a big fan of NCIS ever since i discovered it from my neighbor's cable.  i loved the storyline, i love Mark Harmon and i'm a big fan of Abby and Ziva.  i love the partnership between Tony and Ziva, but more than anything, i love that Cote de Pablo made Ziva David such a strong yet vulnerable woman that any person would admire and try to emulate.  she has proven can be and are naturally intelligent, strong, confident, sexy.  her character has grown ever since it first appeared in Season 3.  i should know.  i've been following it for a while.

early today i found out that Cote de Pablo was  leaving the show after eight years.  her character will be given a proper exit but it is still something fans like me are not happy about.  up to this point, we never knew if Ziva and Tony could be more than just working partners and good friends. i guess we'll never know.

Ziva, i will miss you, but Cote, i hope to see more of you soon!

Sunday, July 14, 2013

good night, Finn

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*photo courtesy of Glee Facebook page

Cory Monteith,  the guy who plays Finn Hudson on Glee, was found dead in Canada today.  He was 31.

while i'm not an addict, for a time, i bore witness and enabled one.

some times, we think we are helping people we love when we help them get out of the hole they dug for themselves because of their addiction.  it's hard to admit that some times, in order to help them, to show them that we care, we have to let them go and allow them to fix their lives by themselves.  we do more harm than good when "we try to help" because unless they get in too deep, unless they hit rock bottom, they won't know to fix themselves, they won't try because they know someone's always there to pick them up when they fall, like a safety net.

i liked Corey.  Finn was one of my favorite characters.  he made me believe my Finn was out there waiting to sing a duet with me, seeing past the weird exterior and just following his heart.  i loved that Corey, the person, tried to turn his life around, and that real-life girlfriend Lea Michele, was supporting him while he tries to recover.  it's just sad that he was taken away from us too soon.  he could've shared his journey and inspired more people.

good night, Finn.

***
In our lives every one of us draws a circle; inside it are your people: the people you fight for, the ones you protect no matter what. As you get older your circle gets smaller and smaller: people grow up, or they don’t, they fall by the wayside, or they just drift off one day at a time. But those who stay through thick and thin and everything in between, they’re the ones you want in the foxhole when the walls come tumbling down


- Mary Shannon, In Plain Sight



Wednesday, July 10, 2013

angry girl journal 07.10.2013

i am grateful for the education that my parents provided me.  it made me miserable growing up:  curfews, high expectations, no friends (or boyfriends), but i am thankful now.  i would like to think they raised me well.  there were things my father taught me that i didn't believe in, but the work ethic i carry now (which i'd like to think is a good one), i got from him. i learned the value of patience, hard work, respect and integrity from my parents.  i guess i'm very fortunate that way.

it makes me sad to know that there are people who are not so fortunate as i.  i like to complain about these things some times without thinking that there are people who didn't get to finish their studies.  i was lucky i had food on the table, a roof over my head and while it wasn't the course that i wanted, i got an education.  a really good one, at that. 

my mother started working when she was sixteen years old.  she put herself through college, finished it and worked to help get her siblings an education. i admired her for that.  it made me grateful for the things i had with them then, and that's what i kept in mind whenever i couldn't (or didn't want to) study.  it got more difficult as i grew older and my father didn't make it easier for me, but she was my inspiration. 

i see and meet a lot of people everyday and before today, i didn't know that they didn't finish college.  not that it mattered to me if they did.  there are people who got to study in the best colleges, had the best things  in life and yet, i don't respect them mainly because they are uneducated - or at least they act like they are.  then there are those who treat their colleagues with respect, do their jobs diligently, efficiently, effectively and you wouldn't be able to tell.  these people are driven because of the hardships they've experienced in life, whether it be a loss in the family or lack of finances or accidents (the happy ones, like children), they didn't get to finish college.  but you love them anyway because they treat people with respect.  these people are the ones i love working with. 

i appreciate that with even the simplest ways, i get to help people build their lives and make their dreams come true.  i appreciate what my parents did for me.  it makes me miss them but it also inspires me to be better so that i can finally realize what they wanted for me.  i may never become a lawyer but i want to be the best that i can be, so they can be proud. 

wherever they are, i hope they are somehow. 

Sunday, July 07, 2013

do-over for debutants

i had hoped to celebrate my 18th birthday again.  this year would've been a good year to do it since i would be eighteen times two this August.  sadly, i didn't meet my timeline and despite expressing this desired plan to my friends, nobody decided they wanted to organize it for me.

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yes, i looked oh-so young and innocent then.

of course, my parents won't be there anymore, but i know that if that event ever happened, that they'd be with me in spirit.

so, i really wanted all my friends to be there at one time, instead of having to meet them separately.  i'd invite people from work who really are my friends.  the ones living abroad will come home just for that.  just for me.  it is my birthday, after all.  i love my friends, but they do tend to make it all about themselves so i wanted that day to be all about me.  di ba?  i mean, i don't really bother them with my problems because i don't want them to worry about me, and because i know they have enough problems already.  i don't want to be a burden to them.  i love them but i want them to do this for me, make it about me, for once.  people would dress up to be there.  the people invited would only be the people who really care about me and not the ones who just pretend to - very intimate setting, indeed.   it would have a band, they'd perform all my favorite songs, and i get to jam with them too.  then people would say nice things about me and they wouldn't wait until i'm dead and they'd tell me how meeting me changed their lives for the better and how happy they were i'm still around.  you know, make it all about me.*sigh*

how many people really do care about me?

also, i've always been the one organizing and working to get stuff done for somebody else, it's what i do for a living.  it would've been nice if someone organized something special for me, for a change, right?  i wouldn't mind spending just as long as i didn't have to lift a finger organizing it.  kaso wala eh 

timeline?  i would go out on a limb here and say, that part of this whole fantasy was to have my happiness with me and we would announce to all of his friends and mine that we're married.  not getting married, but GOT married.  of course, that would require him to be in love with me first, right?  sadly, aside from the banter and a few flirtatious moments in the elevator and in instant messaging, all this is a unilateral delusion.  he does not know i exist.  

but then, i don't believe in marriage.  and he doesn't know i exist.  and my friends won't organize this for me. if something was on the works, i would've smelled it by now.  that i don't hear about anything only means that there is none.  and even if, let's say,  he did notice me, and my friends did organize this for me, would i tie the noose err knot?  i know how capable i am of protecting and taking care of someone, understanding someone and loving someone deeply, but i am always, always afraid that i won't find someone who will do the same.  i have faith but i don't think i ever will.  i'm afraid i never will.

damn.  that could've been a hell of a party.

Saturday, July 06, 2013

one of them guys i want to be there to protect me

it's too bad the show got cancelled after five seasons. aside from those really nice and honest quotes from Mary, Marshall was a combination of genius and sexy and i wanted so much for him to protect me.

 photo MarshallMann_zps04a3db8a.jpg

while Mary was the angry type, he was laid back.  he was into books and all those intellectual conversations.  but when it came to protecting a witness or his partner, Marshall worked as hard as everybody else.  he was totally hot.  my ideal boyfriend lol.

***

Help, every now and then, is something more than a four letter word. Sometimes it's just a baby crying for her sister from the confines of a crib. And sometimes, if you're lucky, help comes without asking, because somewhere nearby is someone who'd rather keep you from falling than help you up after you do.

Mary Shannon, In Plain Sight

Friday, July 05, 2013

why i don't watch local tv anymore 2

when i was younger, we used to watch canned American tv shows in our local channels.  we didn't have cable then so aside from cartoons, we had a mixture of local soap operas, sitcoms and that of the canned shows.  that's how i learned to speak in english, got the accent and picked up some idioms.  i was left alone pretty much as a kid to watch tv unsupervised.  fortunately, i was exposed to the good stuff, i think.

now that we have cable (or should i say, now that my neighbor does),  i get to watch other shows since the local channels just have mostly commercials and people shouting instead of singing or just basically encouraging mediocrity.  making fun of other people to get laughs gets pretty old pretty fast. and while i appreciate that more and more local stuff is on tv, i just wish they wouldn't dub the english ones to Filipino.  it takes away from the story, especially when certain punchlines don't normally translate well in our vernacular.

over the years we've seen Mexicans speaking in Filipino and the Taiwanese speak in Filipino.  hell, we even paid big money and invited them to come over and perform their native tongue despite the fact that we know shit about it.  you don't see any of our local stars get invited to other countries (Jessica Sanchez and Charice Pempengco, not included) to perform, right? when you go to India, Taiwan or Korea, do you see John Lloyd Cruz's shows dubbed in that country's dialect?  do you even see them shown there at all?  and please take note that i am not referring to the Filipino channel.

now we have the Korean invasion and again, too many of our countrymen are conned to following these shows because of their cuteness and the kilig factor they provide.  i'm not sure i understand.

saw this show last night on the bus on the way home. while i didn't really understand what was happening (the show was dubbed in Filipino but i couldn't hear anything), this guy caught my eye:

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i don't watch local tv, but i appreciate beauty.

Monday, July 01, 2013

waking up to the light

my secondment starts today and like majority of the population, i will be waking up and working during the day.  i sort of crossover to the nighttime, but i have to struggle the commute with the rest of the daywalkers.  it's a big adjustment for me since i've worked for almost a decade in the night shift and we've pretty much established that i'm not a morning person so this is really hard for me.

what, another Sponge Cola song? :)

Lunes
Sponge Cola

Dahan-dahang lumalamig
Unti-unting dumidilim
Sa saliw ng 'yong pagtingin
Ang oras ay
Bumibilis
Kumakaripas 
Naghihintay na lang 
Kasama ng ulan

At ayokong magising 
Sa umagang nag-aakit mabuksan 
Naninimdim 
'Di alam 
Walang patutunguhan

'Di mapigilan ang pagngiti 
Paglaya mo'y minimithi 
Nagyayaya nang makisayaw 
Ang himig ay
Nang-aaliw 
Isang pagdiriwang 
Sa ilalim ng bituin 
Sa liwanag ng buwan 

At ayokong magising 
Sa umagang nag-aakit mabuksan 
Naninimdim 
'Di alam 
Walang patutunguhan

Ayoko na 
Hindi sinasadya 
Hindi ko sinasadya

Bumibilis 
Kumakaripas 
Naghihintay na lang 
Kasama ng ulan

At ayokong magising 
Sa umagang nag-aakit mabuksan 
Naninimdim 
'Di alam 
Walang patutunguhan

Ayoko na 
Hindi sinasadya 
Hindi ko sinasadya...

and yes, another one

Lunes 
Join The Club


Unang araw, kay bilis ng galaw 
may kalaliman na patungo sa pag-ayaw
 na kalimutan ka kahit pa may iba 
at sa muli’y magbabalik sa ‘kin ang lahat

[refrain]
Maaari bang magtanong 
dahil labis na rin akong lumalayo

[chorus]
Matatanggap ba ako 
kung magbabalik sa ‘yo 
sakit ng sinapit ay please wag ng magtampo 
wala man akong nagawa 
nung unang ika’y nawala 
wala sa hinagap na ako’y mabibigo 
wala sa hinagap na ako’y mabibigo

Unang araw, naninibago ka 
sa pakiwari ay may katiyakan na 
at sa isang iglap mayroong magaganap 
at sa muli magbabalik sa ‘kin ang lahat


[refrain]
Maaari bang magtanong 
dahil labis na rin akong lumalayo

[chorus]
Matatanggap ba ako 
kung magbabalik sa ‘yo 
sakit ng sinapit ay please wag ng magtampo 
wala man akong nagawa 
nung unang ika’y nawala 
wala sa hinagap na ako’y mabibigo 
wala sa hinagap na ako’y mabibigo

Wag kang magtaka 
pinilit kong magtanong 
basta sapat na ang 
nalaman mo na ako ay narito 
wag kang magtaka… 
wag kang magtaka… 
wag kang magtaka… 
wag kang magtaka…
[instrumental]


[refrain]
Maaari bang magtanong 
dahil labis na rin akong lumalayo

[chorus]
Matatanggap ba ako 
kung magbabalik sa ‘yo 
sakit ng sinapit ay please wag ng magtampo 
wala man akong nagawa 
nung unang ika’y nawala 
wala sa hinagap na ako’y mabibigo 
wala sa hinagap na ako’y mabibigo

..wala sa hinagap na ako’y mabibigo

and of course, nothing beats the classic:


Manic Monday
The Bangles 

Six o'clock already
I was just in the middle of a dream
I was kissin' Valentino
By a crystal blue Italian stream
But I can't be late
'Cause then I guess I just won't get paid
These are the days
When you wish your bed was already made

It's just another manic Monday
I wish it were Sunday
'Cause that's my fun day
My I don't have to run day
It's just another manic Monday

Have to catch an early train
Got to be to work by nine
And if I had an aeroplane
I still couldn't make it on time
'Cause it takes me so long just to figure out what I'm gonna wear
Blame it on the train
But the boss is already there

It's just another manic Monday
Wish it were Sunday
'Cause that's my fun day
My I don't have to run day
It's just another manic Monday

All of the nights
Why did my lover have to pick last night
To get down?
(Last night, last night)
Doesn't it matter
That I have to feed the both of us
Employment's down
He tells me in his bedroom voice
"C'mon honey, let's go make some noise"
Time it goes so fast
(When you're having fun)

It's just another manic Monday
I wish it were Sunday
'Cause that's my fun day
I don't have to run day

It's just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my fun day
It's just a manic Monday