Saturday, June 08, 2013

angry girl journal 06.08.2013: got inked

ever since i saw Ash's Girl from Mars video (that, or the Smashing Pumpkins' Today), i've been fascinated with body art. i remember when i was in college i had this fantasy where i'd be wearing a pair of denim pants and boots and the Philippine flag painted on my upper body. of course, i also imagine being thinner then.  in fact, i was.  i just didn't have the band to shoot the video with.

then this sexy starlet comes marching out in Edsa with only body paint and sequins to cover her, uh, "valuables"  shouting, "Stop the war, not peace!"  totally ruined it.

i've had the time to think about it.  i've been wanting to have one since i was eighteen and i've been looking for a design that meant something to me ever since my father died.  i didn't want a butterfly, i didn't want a tribal one, i didn't want dolphins (although if M and i were still together, i would've considered it, mushy as that sounded), or some saying in script.    it was one of the first things i thought i would do after he died.  i wasn't going to drink, i wasn't going to buy all sorts of things,  i wasn't going to have sex with the first warm body i saw,  i was going to get a tattoo.

i initially wanted to have this stamped on my chest but then i figured, for you to have one of these, your supposed "partner" should have one too.  besides, it's not exactly a partnership if only one of you watches the other person's back, if only one of you is there for the other when the shit hits the fan.  partners are supposed to protect each other, be there for each other through thick and thin, much like Tony and Ziva, Reese and Finch, Mary and Marshall, Booth and Bones.  if only one of you is there for the other and the other just takes it for granted, it is NOT a partnership.  it is a unilateral delusion.  fortunately,  it always passes.

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thankfully, the people i talk to who recommend they know a good tattoo artist always bail on me, i have had the time to delay and think about it. why would i want that reminder of stupidity forever embedded on my chest?  shouldn't the tattoo be about me?

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now i can take that off my bucket list too :)