Sunday, June 30, 2013

who wore the look better

Beyotch stole my look!

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who wore the look better?

hopefully, the next time i wear this dress would be without the excess arm fat

Saturday, June 29, 2013

like being there for the first time

today i spent a day with my new team before i start working with them officially on Monday.  yes, i will become a daywalker!!!  it felt good to be spending time away from the office with them as a start.  it allowed me to bond with them in an environment that wasn't hostile (for lack of a better term - not that working is hostile lol) but fun.  i had fun.  it felt great to be participating in a team building activity and not the one organizing it for a change.

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the last time i was here was when my parents were still alive.  i didn't get to enjoy it much since my father decided to be an ass that day, plus my mother was sick with cancer then already so our time there was pretty limited.  today, despite the rains, i enjoyed the rides immensely.  and i wasn't afraid.  it's like my first time to be there, only it's not.

i look forward to working with these people.  it will be a new experience.  this will be fun!

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

it does get to me once in a while

when Sponge Cola first came out, i really liked them.  Yael was cute, and they had a certain sound that you couldn't miss.  not to mention i loved Jeepney and Lunes.  my interest for them waned for a while then i heard this song play on the radio.  it was undoubtedly them, like they came back from the grave to haunt me with the lyrics of this song.

Di Na Mababawi
Sponge Cola

Ngayo'y aking inuunawang pilit
Mga pagkukulang kong iyong ginigiit
Sana'y malaman mo na tanging ikaw lamang
Ang aking iniintindi

Nakatanim pa sa'king ala-ala
Pangako mong mananatili ka
Kaya't paglisan mo'y naiwan ang pusong ito
Na ngayo'y bitin na bitin

Chorus:
'Di mo na mababawi iniwang sakit
Sa mga salitang binitiwan mo
Hindi ba't ikaw na rin ang nagpasya, nagtakda
At siyang unang umiwas
Bakit nga ba ako 'yong pinaasa?

Nasa aking guniguni malamig mong tinig
Kasabay ng hanging na dumarampi
Na para bang ika'y nariyan sa aking paligid
Tahimik na nagmamasid

*Repeat Chorus

Nahulog na'ng mga ulap, buwan at araw, mga bituwin
Ang ginugol na panaho'y na saan? 
'Di ba't sayang naman? 
Giliw

Ngunit di mo na mababawi iniwang sakit
Sa mga salitang binitiwan mo
Hindi ba't ikaw na rin ang nagpasya, nagtakda
At siyang unang umiwas
Bakit nga ba ako 'yong pinaasa?
Bakit nga ba ako 'yong pinaasa?

we don't talk anymore. i haven't heard from you for quite some time and while i worry, it's not something i want to stress about.  i do have other problems.  but when i hear this, it does remind me of you and it stings a bit.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

why i don't watch local tv anymore

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while i'm glad we have the franchise, and i know we have so much talent on these shores, i fear that personal tragedy and beauty also counts as a factor when determining the winner.

i also believe that yelling with a tune is not singing.

and i hate commercials.  if i wanted see ads, i would.  i wanted to see talent.  it's sad that before i could even see talent, i'm too pissed off with the ads or had dozed off from too many ads.

we can just all wait and see.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

a facebook post/tag an invite does not make

i really hate it when people tag me in pictures and posts that i really have nothing to do with.  it's bad enough when people tag you on photos that are unflattering but it's worse when they tag you on something and you weren't even there.

i've said here before that i'm pretty old-fashioned about certain things.  if you need me to be somewhere, you have to let me know you want me there, through the phone, either via text or call.  i refuse to believe that i have to constantly be online just because you do not have the common courtesy to let me know personally (and because you've lost your humanity) that you want me somewhere.  whatever happened to advance notice?  if you wanted me to be somewhere, knowing that i have geographical limitations (i refuse to move just because, again, you do not have consideration for me) , you could've told me so, i don't want to find out through Facebook that i was supposedly somewhere at this time and i'm not even there.  i don't assume to be invited anywhere.  it's just like these group of people before who were supposedly my friends who "expected "me to be somewhere but didn't invite me because i had a different service provider.  stupid people.

i think you can use Twitter or Facebook to invite people if the event is like weeks away or at least days before.  but if it's happening NOW, i think a text message or phone call would be more appropriate.  again, it takes away the human touch, the more personal approach when you force people to look at Facebook feeds and tweets when you could've just asked them if they wanted to go out.  it's hard when you tell people late and you expect them to be there pronto when it's physically impossible for them.  it's not like i'm the Flash and you're not really talking about a place that's walking distance to me.

people who only remember you when they need something are really not your friends.  you are dispensable.  like when i left my old job.  i kept sending people off but nobody cared enough for me to send me off, and yet they expected me to do something special for this other person, after i left.  then there are people who only talk to me because they can order me around.  when they found somebody else to do it for them, they didn't feel the need to be courteous to me anymore.  and then there are the people who only remember me because they need money.  you know those people.  they never talk to you when they want to share their blessings or their happiness with you, but you're on their speed dial when they're broke.  hell, they even have your number memorized if they pawned their phone.

this really infuriated me.  i hate it when people lose their common courtesy.  

Friday, June 14, 2013

awesome Friday, indeed!

i'm glad you like my shirt and my shoes (we both have Chucks!) and that you think you and i are equally awesome :)

this day is AWESOME!!!

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i so love you.  you make me feel so special and you don't even know it.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

while normally, it is an "S", it does stand for "hope"

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yes, i watched another "Man" movie without you.

no disrespect to the late Christopher Reeve, to Dean Cain, Brandon Routh, or anyone else who has played Superman on the big and small screens, but Henry Cavill, is by far, the hottest Man of Steel.

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a few years ago, they made a movie about Superman coming back after five years of searching for his lost planet Krypton.  i liked that movie. i love this one.

actually, Superman is the only comic book character i grew up with.  i only knew about Batman and Robin through the tv series (yes, the one with the "KABOOM"  and "POW" every time somebody punches someone) and i think i only got to see Spiderman the cartoon series.  i never knew the Uncanny X-Men or the Fantastic Four or the Avengers.  the only ones we had were that of Superman and honestly, i didn't really read them much because i hated that i never knew when they ended.  the ones we have at home (they're lying there somewhere, if they weren't washed away by Ondoy) are not in order.  we got the issue where he died on loan, the one where Doomsday killed him and then the issues where the four super-beings  surfaced.

anyway,  minus the Jesus reference (Kal-El went in hiding for thirty years, using his powers to help people but remaining unseen before he decided to "come out" and make known his intentions of saving the earth, much like Jesus was a carpenter before His cousin John became a baptist and paved the way for Him to preach), this movie showed a man of extraordinary powers living in plain sight amongst us, covering his tracks, helping people in secret and then moving on before we could notice.  this was a relatable man of steel, he was human with extraordinary abilities, which he didn't let get into his head.  while by nature he was powerful, by nurture, he was humble.  he could've ignored the problems of the world and kept to being nobody but he chose to rise above and save this earth from the only inhabitants of his planet.  he could've let General Zod and the rest of the Kryptonians destroy this earth but he didn't.

i really liked what they did to his costume (the underwear doesn't go over the tight pants now) and the effects.  they were very breathtaking.  i also do wonder if Henry Cavill will be "cursed", as what happens to the careers of those who have played the Man of Steel before him, but here's hoping to see more of him after this.  after all, he IS talented.  and hot.  talented and hot a Superman does make.


Tuesday, June 11, 2013

unfinished business


this was inspired by someone and not for someone. i wrote this in 2005 and i still haven't been able to finish it because, while i love to talk, with this, i am suddenly at a loss for words:

there's something about the way you touch me
the way you hold me close and pull my hair
i get elated by the feel of your skin next to mine

i feel free, perverse yet restrained
i have succumbed to the power of your embrace
i am at the mercy of your kisses
i have no choice but to yield

i can still taste you
i can still feel you
inside me
you consume me (i have no choice but to yield)

the thought of you
the sight of you
your scent
your taste
your touch makes my blood burn
you make me yearn

eight years later, i still don't know how it ends or if i should just leave it that way

Sunday, June 09, 2013

angry girl journal 06.09.2013: we are not high school anymore

i have a schoolmate from high school who has been messaging me from California for a while. he started flattering, err, messaging me early this year and while it got me curious, it didn't spark my interest.

he irritates me in a way, because i don't really know if he's courting me or if he's just being nice.  i don't like to assume, but he reminds me of this agent from my old company. i mean, i know i'm not a supermodel or anything so i don't have a right to be choosy but i feel like if this were going somewhere, i would do so much to jeopardize it because we don't have the same wavelength. we're speaking in Filipino and i still can't understand him sometimes when we talk.  isn't that weird?  it's bad enough that distance is a factor, but the language?  seriously?

and come on, we're not teenagers anymore.  i am assuming that at our age, you've gotten better at hitting on women, or at least being honest about you feel.  i can try to see this through to make it work, but you really have to say something.  otherwise, i will move on and not bother.  the clock is a-ticking, after all.

you're sweet, really.  but until i know what this is about, what you really want from me, i'm just going to treat you like everybody else.  besides, aren't there really nice women in Fresno?

Saturday, June 08, 2013

angry girl journal 06.08.2013: got inked

ever since i saw Ash's Girl from Mars video (that, or the Smashing Pumpkins' Today), i've been fascinated with body art. i remember when i was in college i had this fantasy where i'd be wearing a pair of denim pants and boots and the Philippine flag painted on my upper body. of course, i also imagine being thinner then.  in fact, i was.  i just didn't have the band to shoot the video with.

then this sexy starlet comes marching out in Edsa with only body paint and sequins to cover her, uh, "valuables"  shouting, "Stop the war, not peace!"  totally ruined it.

i've had the time to think about it.  i've been wanting to have one since i was eighteen and i've been looking for a design that meant something to me ever since my father died.  i didn't want a butterfly, i didn't want a tribal one, i didn't want dolphins (although if M and i were still together, i would've considered it, mushy as that sounded), or some saying in script.    it was one of the first things i thought i would do after he died.  i wasn't going to drink, i wasn't going to buy all sorts of things,  i wasn't going to have sex with the first warm body i saw,  i was going to get a tattoo.

i initially wanted to have this stamped on my chest but then i figured, for you to have one of these, your supposed "partner" should have one too.  besides, it's not exactly a partnership if only one of you watches the other person's back, if only one of you is there for the other when the shit hits the fan.  partners are supposed to protect each other, be there for each other through thick and thin, much like Tony and Ziva, Reese and Finch, Mary and Marshall, Booth and Bones.  if only one of you is there for the other and the other just takes it for granted, it is NOT a partnership.  it is a unilateral delusion.  fortunately,  it always passes.

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thankfully, the people i talk to who recommend they know a good tattoo artist always bail on me, i have had the time to delay and think about it. why would i want that reminder of stupidity forever embedded on my chest?  shouldn't the tattoo be about me?


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now i can take that off my bucket list too :)

Friday, June 07, 2013

yep, that's me, the overachiever

sometimes i set the bar so high that i make it difficult for me to defeat myself

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i wonder what i'm going to do this weekend to beat that.  tsk.

Monday, June 03, 2013

angry girl journal 06.03.2013

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enter Freddie Mercury and the rest of Queen.

i know it's already June but i still believe 2013 will be our year this time