Saturday, May 04, 2013

makes me feel better i wasn't popular in high school

 photo mindykalingbook_zps7227fade.jpg

 i wasn't popular in high school. and neither was Mindy Kaling. but she's funny.

i'd like to think i am funny too.

i don't really follow her show  like most people but i bought her book and i actually thought it was amusing.  i liked the book.  somehow i could relate to her.  i have trouble losing weight.  i have trouble finding a man in my life.  i have trouble getting to where i want to be professionally.  i appreciated her efforts, her positivity and i hope to be just as optimistic about my life as she had been and continue to do so.  i'm not that cheerful. hopeful to some degree but i've been so used to rejection that i am skeptical that things will actually be any better for me.  in a way, she is to me, like an Indian Jessica Zafra, only flirtatious.  she sounds like she's ingested a lot of helium (she refers to her voice as sounding like that of an eleven year-old girl) and she still believes in fairy tales coming true (marriage), which i totally respect.  i do believe that there is someone out there for me but i don't want to get my hopes up anymore.  i agree that marriage takes a lot of work and that if you were to get married you should be with the one you love who's also your pal.

i don't have either.  someone said i am difficult to live with.  maybe that's true.  maybe i'm just looking for someone as passionate as i am and someone who is equally passionate about me as i am about them.

“I'm not talking about commitment to romantic relationships. I'm talking about commitment to things: houses, jobs, neighborhoods. Having a job that requires a contract. Paying a mortgage. I think when men hear that women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that's not it. It's a commitment to not floating around anymore. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life.”

― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? 

i wasn't popular in high school.  i wasn't popular in college.  i am not popular at work.  but i am patient.  i'd like to think that there's a payoff  somewhere waiting for me, both in my love life and in my career and not just some punchline out to hit me in the face.