Thursday, May 23, 2013

angry girl journal 05.23.2013

i miss my parents

 photo momdadme1987_zps0d159faf.jpg

it's just one of those days when it dawns on me that they're gone, i don't have them with me anymore.  

it's just me.  alone. 

no one to turn to if i needed money.  no one to take me to the hospital when i'm sick. no one to spend special occasions with.  no one to look after my kids while i'm at work, assuming i'll still have any.  no one who will be happy when i achieved something.  no one who will get mad at me for not spending time with them. no one telling me i made the wrong choices. 

i know my parents and i never had that kind of relationship because i'm stubborn.  they raised me well and i love them for it.  it wasn't all great, our lives as a family.   but the fact that they're gone made me lose the hope that things will get better. i know i have friends but i don't really want to worry them, i don't want to go to them for help. i don't want to be a burden to them. 

remembering just makes me sad.

it's funny how i look after everyone else but at the end of the day, i have no one to take care of me, nobody i can rely on to watch my back but me.  

it's just me.