Thursday, May 16, 2013

angry girl journal 05.16.2013

i don't go to church.

i don't go to church like i don't believe in marriage.  well, i believe in God, or the Higher Power that guides us all but i don't go to church anymore.  it's embarrassing to say that i only go to church when i feel like it, it's just that i want to be able to talk to my Creator freely and not have to worry about other people.

now, just because i don't go to church it means i'm a bad person.  i can go on here about people who go to church but do this and that but i'm not going there. i try to be good.  i try to do what i think is right, what i was raised to believe was right.   just because i don't go to church doesn't mean i don't pray, i do.  i talk to my Creator a lot.  i ask Him (or Her) for guidance, protection, strength.  i thank Him (or Her) for the many blessings that i have right now.  i am grateful for all the opportunities given to me.  yes, i could be happier.  but i could've had it worse.  so i am grateful.

while i'm not particularly pious (M used to say that whenever I said "religious"), this is what gets me through BBB (buwis-buhay bus) rides and being home alone.

 photo rosarybels_zps3bcab55e.jpg

that, and i have a knife too.

i do believe in the Creator's power to look after all of us but i also believe that God helps those who helps themselves.  hence, the knife.

which i don't use to slash my wrists anymore.