Sunday, January 20, 2013

angry girl journal 01.20.2013

just because you gave it all doesn't necessarily follow that it will be worth something to someone.  but as long as it means something to you, it should be enough.

do i even want to end up with you?  i don't know.  you're no good for me.  you said it yourself - i'm perfect*.  you even said i kept you sane.  despite all my flaws, i'm still too good for you.  i guess i often get attracted to people whom i know will make my life miserable.  i guess that's what love is.

you never apologized to me.  you never thanked me unless you were forced to.  it's like i always have to force it out of you. whereas i thank you all the time and i even apologized for that time i hurt your feelings here.

i just don't want to live my life with regret.  i want to be able to say, before closing the YOU chapter of my life, that i did everything i possibly could, that i gave it all, then enter the end credits (no pun intended) so i could move on to a new chapter of my life.

insert Adele lyrics here.

just because you gave him everything it doesn't necessarily mean that it's worth something to him.  it just means that he's got it all and you're left with NOTHING.

*we were at the parking lot, second floor, while we were smoking, i told you that i sometimes wished i was someone else, then maybe you'd share with me your life more. you answered, "no, you're perfect.  there's nothing more i could ask for".  march 16, i remember because i took you to the hospital the next day.