Tuesday, December 04, 2012

angry girl journal 12.04.2012

aside from the watery eyes and the clogged nose, i woke up from a dream where i got married.

i got married!

everyone was in black.  i had no idea who any of them were, except that the traffic was bad and i was feeling very much ochlophobic.  i really wanted to run away from the groom - he looked an awful lot like Ryan Reynolds but i was scared shitless to marry him.  i don't know why considering i have this humongous crush on Ryan Reynolds.  since it was very difficult for me to walk away, i ended up saying "I do" and he did too, although, he seemed to be as clueless as i was.


in my thirty-five years of existence, i've only had three marriage proposals.  they were all from lesbians.

oh,  there was one.  he said he would stand up for me and take me out of my predicament.  but he disappeared. when he resurfaced, he was courting my friend.

most of the men in my life are either already married, engaged to be married or living in with someone.  it's weird because none of them ever really considered i was worth marrying, but i was worthy enough for a "test drive".  funny, i don't have a sign on my head that says, "GOOD FOR SEX ONLY" or "LOANING COMPANY".

maybe that's why most of them are in black.  the day i get married, is the day i die.  it'll never happen.  because i'm not worthy.