Sunday, November 25, 2012

another one of them songs that brings tears to my eyes

over dinner, while discussing our friend Beth's wedding,  my friend Chris made me listen to this song by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals.  it's one of them songs that we have in our kabigti-bigti laslas pulso* playlist.  when i listened to it, he was right.  the song is beautiful, sonorous and very heart-wrenching.  that it is in my voice range is merely a coincidence :)

Stars
Grace Potter and the Nocturnals


I lit a fire with the love you left behind
And it burned wild and crept up the mountain side
I followed your ashes into outer space
I can't look out the window, I can't look at this place.
I can't look at the stars
They make me wonder where you are
Stars, up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all, I know you've gone too far
So I, I can't look at the stars.
All those times we looked up at the sky
Looking out so far, it felt like we could fly

And now I'm all alone in the dark of night
And the moon is shining, but I can't see the light.
And I can't look at the stars
They make me wonder where you are
Stars, up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all, I know you've gone too far
So I, I can't look at the stars.
Stars
Stars, they make me wonder where you are
Stars, up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all, I know you've gone too far
So I can't look at the stars. 

***

there are days when i think i can't be here anymore, and it's mostly because of you.  it's bad enough that i already feel lonely because of all my problems but you made me feel that i am never good enough for anything, no matter what i say or do.  i know that my self-worth is not dependent on your approval considering you are not flawless yourself and we both know that you are not good for me.  you do not deserve me.  i keep telling myself that but i wait on you anyway. it has to stop somewhere.  i can't always be there for someone whom i have no assurance will be there for me when it's my turn to need help.  

so I, I can't look at the stars.

*literally self-hanging, wrist-slashing.