Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Ten Reasons why YOU are NOT your crush's crush

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i recently bought this book by Ramon Bautista, which i guess, is a compilation of all the questions and answers he got from his Twitter and Formspring accounts.  it's very entertaining and humorous.  you'd be surprised at the type of questions he gets asked and the answers he provides.  it also comes with a free notebook.

anyway, according to Ramon Bautista, these are the ten reasons why you are not your crush's crush*:
1.  you're ugly.

2.  you have a bad attitude.

3.  you are already taken.

4.  he/she is already taken.

5.  he/she is gay.

6.  your horoscopes don't match.

7.  you seem okay but his/her friends have already said bad things to him/her about you.

8.  you are high maintenance.

9.  you like the TV shows that he/she doesn't like.

10.  you are not on his/her radar, a.k.a.  he/she just doesn't notice you.

it's a pretty good read when you're stuck in traffic and you don't have wifi on your phone.  it's just that when you've reached my age, you just don't want to know why your crush doesn't like you.  you just don't.

as Jessica Zafra stated in Chicken Pox for the Soul (in essence), if he/she does not like you (or was it come back to you?), it must be destroyed.  

*translated in english because i am assuming i have people not from PHL who bother to read this.  

Sunday, October 28, 2012

angry girl journal 10.28.2012

i choose to stay no matter how hurt i am because i love you.  i'm not just in love with you, i love you.  my romantic feelings will go away eventually (i'm hoping sooner than later) but i will always be there for you because i love you.  the things i hate about you are also the things i love about you.  it's not an obsession or blind devotion, because i still know enough to stand up to you when you're wrong.  whether you see or know how much i feel about you doesn't matter because i know that when i close that chapter of you in my life, i have no regrets.

Friday, October 26, 2012

angry girl journal 10.26.2012

it's amazing how he can see me and you can't when he's just passing through and you've been with me almost everyday of my life


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but i'm hoping he will stay, though.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

giving back by way of planting trees

i really didn't want to go.  seriously.  i already made plans for the night.  plus, i knew you were going so i didn't want to.  not that it means anything.  not going means not getting hurt seeing you.  plus, if you went and i didn't,  i get to keep my breasts.

it was an opportunity for me to give back for all the cigarettes i smoked and a chance to hang out.  i like hanging out with you.   regardless of what's going on (or not going on) right now, it doesn't change the fact that i like hanging out with you.


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i went anyway.  it felt good to go.  i'm really glad i went.  it made me feel good inside, no matter how bad the sun was on my neck.  we started digging and segregating trash and nobody gave attitude.  everyone was just there to help make it happen, make this world a better place.

i'm never going to let my fear get in the way of what i want to do, what i enjoy doing.  it's not much in the bigger scheme of things, but it's a start. i may be a bitch, and smoke a lot, but i care about this world, just as much as anybody else and i will try to help as much as i can.

they say that when you try avoid people, your world starts being smaller.  i care about this world more than i'd like to admit, and more than i care about you, even though you mean the world to me.  does that make sense? so i won't let anything come between me and my little contribution to making this world a better place.  besides,  you made me really proud today :)

Thursday, October 11, 2012

because i have so much l♥ve (blood) to give . . .

i've always wanted to know what it feels like to donate blood.  i know i can donate considering how healthy (?) i am  and how healthier it would make me when i did.  not to mention the intangible altruistic feeling that came with being able to help out somebody who needed it.

there was this question i had difficulty answering during the screening and i think you know what it is but i'm glad i was able to donate blood despite of it.  and save face.

we had visitors coming in yesterday so i really wanted to get it over with.  not that the task didn't mean anything to me, i just thought i didn't need to rest that long afterwards.  i had somewhere i needed to be.  darn audit.

and this is my prize for not being scared of the needle:


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i was kinda dizzy as the shift progressed but that was from too much running around in heels with no sustenance whatsoever.  i made up for it when i did.

i know i whine a lot because sometimes,  someone who doesn't deserve it gets commended  and i am overlooked, but now that i've donated blood, it feels good.   i now know that people don't have to notice that you're doing something good for somebody else.  not everyone has to know that you're helping people out, just as long as you know it and it matters to the person out there that you've helped, because that's the reason why you did it in the first place.

so to you out there, with type B blood, or if you're a vampire and you're thirsty, i hope my love reaches you well.

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

angry girl journal 10.03.2012

i suddenly remember Lawrence,my duet partner in college. he gave me a dozen white roses on the day of the competition.  he wasn't courting me (he had a girlfriend), we didn't win and i'm not into flowers.  well, let's just say i don't usually get flowers - i'm not the girl guys trip rushing over to give flowers to.  he said i gave my all during practice (our song was Regine Velasquez and Jacky Cheung's In Love With You) and he knew i'd do the same come competition day so he thought he'd show me how much he appreciated me for doing so.

i was happy he did. i don't know why i remember it now, though.

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i'm  doing my best here.  i'm just trying to do the right thing.