Thursday, September 13, 2012

angry girl journal 09.13.2012

"I bring you the gift of these four words:  I believe in you."
- Blaise Pascal

i know you sometimes think that i only say nice things to suck up to you but i really want to let you know that i really admire your hard work and all the sacrifices that you make in order to help others.  i hope that they can see that even though they don't necessarily agree with you that it's right.

i know i keep complaining about how hard the work is or that people don't understand and appreciate me very well.  i know that i also keep talking about moving to a different role, about teaching and inspiring people (and hopefully, get paid for it) but i'm still here because i love the work that i do for you.  it's not blind devotion that i stay in this role but the fact that i can help you help other people.  i love that working for you, working with you allows me to help others even in the simplest of ways.  i believe they call it that "intangible altruistic feeling" in one of my law books.  i believe success isn't just about the high pay or the getting ahead in the corporate ladder - it's about making a difference in other people's lives and if i could make as much as an iota of a difference in other people's lives the way that you have then i know i have succeeded.

you are to me, the epitome of a great leader.  you lead by example.  i hope you don't forget that.

***

there are so many things i want to say to you but over the course of our friendship, i have realized that there are things better left unsaid.  right now i'm just happy that you are back on your feet.

that i believe in you and i trust you doesn't matter much to you.  i know because you have no problem burning me and breaking my heart, but he trusts you.  he sees the good in everybody and he thinks you have great potential.  remember that ripped jeans conversation you had where he said to you, "i'm trying to make someone out of you"?  i hope you remember that.

he depends on you.  i hope you keep his trust sacred.  i hope you don't let him down the way you've let me down so many times.  i hope you don't let him down the way you let yourself down. i hope you think about that the next time you feel like screwing over the people who put their faith in you.

i give you the gift of these four words.  use the belief i have in you wisely.