Sunday, May 20, 2012

angry girl journal 05.19.2012

if two years ago, i went to him so i can run away from you because you were drunk and i don't want to be a statistic, this year, i went to you so i can forget him.

sorry about that. i didn't know what came over me.  i was just really upset.

it was nice to see you again.  it was nice that this time, between you and me, you are the saner one.  you knew why i was there.  you knew it was about him that i went to you.

i don't want to lose you as a friend, as a brother.  you are one of the few men i feel safe with.  yes, despite recent events, i trust you with my life, not just because of an oath, but because you are truly trustworthy and i know that you will sincerely and seriously look out for me.

and now you won't talk to me.  and it's sad.

***

see, you have no idea how bad i have it for you.  you have no idea about the people who get hurt because of your actions.  i know you weren't there when i kissed him and "violated" him, but, you made me so upset i had no one else to turn to.  i know it's not an excuse but you always never run out of excuses, so why shouldn't i be allowed to use lame excuses for my stupidity?

i hope you are happy.  because i'm not.

now, i can't run to anyone for anything anymore.