Sunday, December 18, 2011

best Christmas party ever

"it's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid . . ."

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so goes the song. so goes the invitation that i got via Facebook calendar and via text message about the party being thrown by The Ronnies. i haven't watched gigs in a while and i said that if there was one gig i had to see before the year ends, it would have to be theirs.

a few years back, i got to sing with them and i had a blast. that to me was the best gig ever. this was reinforced when i saw them again last night. i had so much fun, i even forgot that i was sick and in pain the whole week from my kidney (or another possible urinary tract infection - who knows?) and from the unending stress that i receive from work. i said that i was going to have fun and drink at whatever cost. and i did.

i even got to sing with them again. we wanted to hear Borderline so i whispered the request real quick to Ronnie who agreed but said i had to be the one to sing the song. okay. done.

i miss singing. i miss having fun. i miss going out and not having to worry about the things i have to do, or the things i don't have. i miss not having to worry about work or my failing health.

like they said, it's Christmas time. no need to be afraid. no need for stress either.

***

it was weird seeing you again. not that you still have this effect on me or anything but i do remember exchanging not so good words with you through text. and then we just went back to being nice again to each other without actually ever talking about it. you act like there's nothing wrong and you act like i still don't mean anything to you even after you keep asking me how i am. i keep thinking if you're sincere about it or if you just want to feel better about yourself because you're an asshole and you have not been a good friend to me for the most part of our lives. you're still not a good friend. and i am over you. i have been fine without your affirmation, you know. you take me for granted even though i'm the only one who's been true to you, the only one who's really been loyal to you all these years, following you and supporting the poor excuse for a singing career that you have. oh well, you didn't like being mainstream anyway, right?

it's nice that you ask how i am. you haven't exactly apologized for being mean to me and that debacle in 2006 but i appreciate the effort you're exerting. it's nice that you're trying to make up for being an ass. even if it's twenty-one years too late.