Monday, September 05, 2011

so much for moving to a new environment

it truly is a small small world.

i was thinking that if i left the company i was currently in to move to this other one that i'd be rid of some of that pent up anger and negative energy from working in the previous company. i had anticipated that some of the people who i worked with would be here but i didn't think i would see so many people i know.

a friend had a recommendation for me: if you don't want to see them, chances are, they feel the same way about you. so if you see anyone you know, just smile. if they don't smile back, you just stay as you were, as if you haven't seen anyone or anything.


***

it doesn't really help that we see each other still. or we talk on the phone everyday. or text each other. or email each other. part of the reason i took this gig was to run away from you. forget you. well, not really forget you, but get over the romantic feelings for you. because there are days when i can't draw the line anymore. we're not together anymore, we don't work together but somehow it just feels like i never left.

of course, i'm over you. there are just days when you tend to act a certain way which makes me react a certain way and frankly, i don't want to have to deal with that all over again. it's exhausting, to say the least. if you decide to move here then it will never help me. i have moved on from those feelings. i am okay with us being friends. you just have to act like one. it doesn't help me, as a person, when you as a friend, say this and that, but you're never really up to it. i don't need an absentee best friend. if you move, we'll start fighting again and there will be talk again and i'm so sick of that drama. you moving will mean that i have someone to rely on, some of the time, but more for me to worry about.

i wish you the best of everything. i know you are a great person and i know you will make a wonderful contribution, given your amass of talent to this company. i just won't know how to deal.