Wednesday, March 30, 2011

i can only do 101 and it doesn't even get me anywhere

so last night we concluded our two-day training on being able to get your point across. now that i think about it, they were right when they called it a workshop rather than training since the whole idea is to get you to present yourself and a topic in front of people. i loved it immensely. i learned more about myself. i still don't know how to handle compliments considering i spent the last thirty-two years getting crap from my own father but i'm learning how to deal with it. i know how to appreciate good feedback now, not just getting used to the bad. i think.

i talked about myself for five minutes or so. i was the only who didn't have a deck prepared. i didn't know how to describe the feeling. i was confident in a way, because i could talk about anything. but then, being a cluttered mind, there was so much i could talk about! chances are, if i started talking about something, it wouldn't just be five minutes. so the key here was knowing when to stop.

i went into this class thinking i could learn more about preparing the presentation, which i did. i thought it was the more visual stuff, not knowing that the visual aid, the best visual aid one can ever come up with is himself. if you know the topic from the back of your head, you don't need visual aids. you don't need additional electronic tools. you are the tool. being in this class has taught me how to better structure my thoughts before speaking in front of an audience.

i had the idea in my head, flirting. but then again, where's the credibility in that? if you are to talk about something, you should at least be some sort of expert on the subject. i'm a flirt, yes, but, again, when you talk about something, people expect you to actually be the living proof of what you're talking about. and i'm not really the best person because i'm not getting any. well, i flirt, meaning, i'm touchy, i give people the look, i play with their heads with words, but who doesn't? everybody is a flirt, they just don't want to own up to it.

***
i know you love me. you don't say it but i know you do. it's not romantic love but one that is borne out of trust, mutual respect, true friendship. and i am good knowing that you do care for me. i don't expect anything more no matter what people say, or what people might think. they will say what they want to say anyway, they will never understand and even when they do, we have settled that it's hard to enlighten the people who refuse to see reason.* i am happy knowing that i have you in my life and i am someone you value. whatever we have works for us. i am good with that. after all, it's not that easy to make friends.

*posted with permission