Friday, February 11, 2011

am i really?

This will be in the drafts for a while before it gets published.

I know they will check this after that status change.

An hour or two ago, I launched a bomb on Facebook, which is more of a social experiment than anything else. Over glasses of Jack Daniels and Sprite, a couple of friends and I were chatting about 80s TV shows, relationships past present and what-might-have-been, serious or sexual, in between singing a jingle for this optical shop, smoking and out of this world what ifs. I said to them, “what if I didn’t show myself to you for a couple of weeks and then I suddenly changed my Facebook status to “married”? my profile picture showing me wearing pink and saying how much I LOVE being a housewife? Me who hates the idea of tying the noose, err, knot; me who hates pink and being tied down slaving on house work gets married and actually declares loving it. weird, right? Last person you would suspect got hitched.

So Friend #1 says that he’d be pissed because he wasn’t invited to the wedding, and then when I mentioned the pink gown and he screams, “who the hell are you and what did you do to my friend?!” Friend #2 says that she never saw me as a Stepford wife. But what if I did?

We put this to the test, with me, the person who hasn’t gotten any for the last three years, me who doesn’t have a boyfriend or a constant date, declaring this on Facebook and we have proven that:

1. People really enjoy gossip, especially bad gossip;

2. Babies, whether planned or unwanted, elicit elated reactions or just reactions, in general;

3. Facebook has become so powerful in connecting you to people that when news like this comes out, whether hoax or not, they will go ahead to bug you and ask (to the guy who thought up Facebook, because I cannot remember your name at the moment, you are a genius and I owe you!);

4. Humans who feel that in some remote way what happens to you affects their lives too tend to show up back in your life when you least expect them to;

. . . that and everything else weird. I received so many text messages and comments were posted on my wall asking if I was indeed pregnant. Some were happy, some were concerned, some had to ask again and again and again just to be sure. I mean, after I posted it, I thought about all the people whom I knew would ask first because they were curious (identity of the father, intended or accidental pregnancy, etc. ) or genuinely happy or react violently. It’s not like I’m seeking attention (okay, maybe a little), but I just want to know.

Watching Bones and how she doesn’t like Sweets because of how Anthropology and Psychology are on opposite ends of the pole made me realize this and the bullet points I stated above.

5. Not everything on the internet is true – Wikipedia can be edited!

6. Zach Lucero’s Superpoke is one great song , especially when Lourd De Veyra says, the pictures do not lie, or I tag, therefore I am. I am tagged therefore I exist. When people take the time out to check out what’s happening to you, you feel important. When people waste load, time or PST space to quarrel with you, they don’t like you, YES. But they obviously thought you were worth wasting load, time and PST space on.

I don’t really know whether Anthropology or Psychology has the answers or what made me decide to update my status like that. All I do know is that if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have thought this thing up just so I could see how people could react and how easy it is to manipulate people just so they can get what they want from you.

I am pregnant.

With ideas. Really crazy ideas.