Friday, December 31, 2010

tempting, but no.

i actually really liked you at first. you are one of the few people worth looking at when i first moved to this site. because there are only a few of you and the few who can actually carry a conversation are either TAKEN, GAY or simply NOT INTERESTED. you were under the first category, the kind that was legally binding at that, so i lost all interest. still, it doesn't change the fact that you are pretty to look at. and you're very interesting. i like talking to you. you're pretty witty and to some degree you get me.

i never really realized how much you could get me until we started working together, like interaction and actual conversations. it wasn't much and i didn't really expect much from it. i just enjoy working and talking to you. nothing special.

i would say this whole "thing" started after the company year-end celebration. you found my introduction to the site performance very amusing, to say the least and i have to admit, i was very flattered. you put a smile to my face that day. really. it was a group performance and each and every one of us did their best to make it a great one but somehow you only noticed me. maybe because i was the only one drunk and crazy enough to kneel and spread her legs (hooch, as a friend described) in front of the whole company population. you said i outshone everyone (even the ones who were thinner than i was? - have your eyes checked, dude) and this was the one that really got to me, the trap:

"kung meron like button sa ulo mo nung performance . . . dami na siguro nag-like"*

you even changed your status in IM just to flatter me. you said you were glad you made me smile, because i look prettier when i smile. right. i thought that was really really sweet of you and God, if you were only single, i would have jumped on you that day. damnit, you flattered me so much i feel like i don't deserve it. i know i sing good, yes, but you were using the adjectives, "HOT" and "SEXY" to describe me, which have no direct relation to my singing prowess whatsoever.

while planning for that introductory number, all the drinking affected how we approached the song, how we were going to present it, and the costume that we will wear while performing it. i think we all agreed that if not one of us got laid that night after the performance, then it just meant to show how much we love this company.

it's amazing what a Santa suit, fishnet stockings and a pair of "fuck me" boots can do for you.

i'm a big flirt. apparently, you're a naughty boy yourself. damn.

now there's this sudden pressure to clean the house because i never know if somebody just might come over to be violated. i don't understand.

i can bite anywhere? do you even bite back? why the fuck would you want to be bitten, and by, of all people, me? again, have you had your eyes checked lately? while i don't consider getting married, i respect people who are married. unless they want to be violated. in which case, i make sure i slap them silly for them to get back to their senses. i just make sure not to slap too hard because they, uh, just might enjoy it?

i'm a rebel, i'm pretty stubborn. i don't follow too many rules, but those few rules, i make sure i follow. rules for this scenario are: ONE, you don't flirt with married men and, TWO, you don't shit in your backyard.

THREE would be, you don't shit with the married men in your fucking backyard, no matter how cute or smart they are.

i would've loved to bite you. anywhere. i would've loved for you to crash over at my house and let yourself be violated by me and vice versa because i do want some of that. damnit, i just want to get some, period. but you and i can't. just the idea of you and i talking this way, it's exciting. i enjoy it immensely but we can't. this is pathetic, i know. this is all very tempting, but NO.

*if there was a "Like" button in your head, a lot of people would've hit "Like"