Thursday, December 16, 2010

not as awkward as i imagined it to be

like i have said here before, i have been contemplating about asking M out. her face has come up in Facebook so many times that i was tempted to add her. or message her, at least, to ask her out. now that i have, i wonder why i didn't try before. took me seven years.

after the Shaw OMD party, i went over to our organization's party in order to make an appearance. we ended up being among the last ones left and it was still relatively early so i asked her if she wanted to go out and have coffee. she obliged.

i told her that i have been wanting to ask her out but i was worried that i may offend somebody by doing so and i never really knew how to ask or how she would react if i did. she also pictured our first actual conversation together to be awkward but like me, she was also glad that it's not THAT awkward. i am even afraid to admit i had fun. she is still very engaging to talk to. sure, she's still a pompous ass (actually, more arrogant now than before and she owns up to this) and loud and like me, aside from the strong personality, has a tendency to overly assert herself, but i wasn't bored. some part of me didn't even want it to end. but she was tired and had no sleep at all for the last three days (wuss! 3 days. tsk. try a whole week. how about two weeks? LOL) so we decided to call it a day. she even took me home. oh my M (yes, yes, ex), always a gentleman.

like me, she lives alone, although her new girlfriend (i know not because i keep tabs but because people have a tendency to give me information i don't need) drops by the house every now and then. she asked me how it is for me, living alone and how i get by. i wasn't going to lie and say it's been swell but at the same time,i didn't really want her to gloat. i told her, i have people who look out for me and that i have been very busy with work. of course i could be happier. but everybody else feels the same way so i am no different from anybody else. i just happen to live alone. and while she has family she only comes home to once a year, i have practically no one. i was glad that she asked and that she still seemed to care. that meant a lot to me. i am truly relieved that we are able to talk to each other now, after all these years. i am glad that she and i were able to communicate better than we have before.

time does heal all wounds.

*M, i doubt if you ever have the patience to read this, but it's not that i don't want to add you in Facebook, there's just no option to do so. at alam mong hindi ako namimilit ng ayaw. i'm good knowing you and i are good. finally.