Friday, October 23, 2009

the John Hughes Film Festival

they will be having a John Hughes Film Festival at the Edsa Shangrila Mall this weekend.


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of course, growing up in the 80s, i adored the brat pack and the movies they made. they spoke of my generation. not to mention the music at the time really rocked. forget about the clothes, forget about the really bad hair. but the issues, the eloquence, of my generation, was something to behold. these movies are a testament to that and of John Hughes' legacy. these movies have become the basis or the prototype for all youth-oriented movies and tv shows today.

enough said. enjoy the movies.

Friday, October 16, 2009

a sick mean old bald man is still a mean old bald man

i'm supposed to be in Palawan today. or Bacolod. not sure where my friends are right now but i'm pretty sure they're having a swell time without me. i have to be here, not because work doesn't allow me to take a vacation but because my father gets a kick out of making my life miserable.

i think i've made it pretty obvious in this page that my father and i don't get along so well mainly because now that i think about it, he doesn't seem to be happy to have me as a child to begin with. if you don't like what you have, no matter how hard it is trying to meet your expectations, it will never be good enough for you.

that's how i am living right now.

of course i'd be better off if i just left, if not for the promise i made to my dying mother that i will love, respect and stay at the house to take care of my father. had i been the bad bad daughter my father thinks i am, he wouldn't really be breathing long enough to finish the sentence.

my father is great. he's put a roof over my head, educated me (to the point that i feel more like an employee than a daughter, all that information, all those policies), fed me, took care of me. he's so great he doesn't stop reminding me about it.

i am here in manila even if my friends are in bacolod because my dad is sick. he is also stubborn. he doesn't want to be confined in a hospital where nurses can attend to him and a doctor can monitor his blood sugar. he also doesn't want me to go on leave to take care of him. why? i have no idea.

what bothers me is that, for a man who is supposed to be weak and sick, he still has the strength to get mad at me for the smallest of things. i don't get it.

he thinks it's unfair if God will take him this early since he still has to prepare my future (he's been planning everything down to the littlest detail i don't really have any room for doing anything else), i still don't have a partner (like i can get one being locked in my house and in my office) and he feels that i still can't live alone.

i never really got to make any decisions of my own to begin with so i wouldn't really be able to tell if i can or cannot now, can i?

it's unfair that there are people who deserve to die but are still alive. it's unfair that many people are suffering due to calamities. it's unfair that there are wretched people out there still living, breathing and here we are.

i hate to think that even if you are a horrible father because you ask too much of your only child (whom you don't want to begin with because she won't be able to carry the family name and because you think she's not perfect enough) and you control her life as you please, when you pray and pray a lot, you will be saved and you can hold yourself more righteous than everybody else.

apparently sickness doesn't work on mean people.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

bawal matuwa

so i finally got to see Spring Awakening at the Carlos P. Romulo Auditorium. i loved it so much i watched it twice. i watched it before i went to work last Friday, then i watched the matinee show after my shift. i'm going to stop watching it, if only for financial reasons. but i am obviously addicted.

of course, i can't help but compare the actors of the local version with the original broadway cast (i have a copy of the soundtrack) especially Moritz's character, who is my favorite, but i believe that Nicco Manalo did him justice. i liked the way he told Moritz's story. kudos to the other members of the cast, especially JC Santos. it's not easy masturbating in front of hundreds of people and then resurfacing on stage kissing another guy, but i guess, that's why they're actors. they are superb at what they do. also, Nar Cabico brought shivers down my spine with his vocal prowess on the song Touch Me.

***

i don't want to be amused with you. i don't want to rationalize your behavior around me or what you do to my head whenever i'm with you. i refuse to give in to what people say about us, what they think or what runs through my head about what could be between us.

i am not allowed to be amused with you.

Friday, October 02, 2009

teenage angst and hormones

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abortion. sadomasochism. suicide. homosexuality. incest.

those are just a few of the themes which are featured in the Broadway musical Spring Awakening.

the play was originally written in the 1800s by Frank Wedekind and due to its controversial plots, it was banned from being shown until the 1960s. that is, until Duncan Sheik and Steven Sater came in. the musical has been nominated and won 8 Tony awards including Best Musical and the OST has won Grammys.

Set in 1891, Spring Awakening is what happens when parents don’t talk to their kids openly about sex when they start asking questions so they’re forced to find out the answers for themselves; it’s what happens when parents expect too much for their kids but give so little affection for them; when parents abuse their kids physically and they feel they have no one to turn to but their friends; when academic freedom is abused by the people tasked with the responsibility of educating us; i can go on forever you know.

i am looking forward to see if the local version run at the RCBC Theater is anything like the Broadway musical. the soundtrack has got me hooked so bad it is playing in my head over and over. the music is addicting, and very much as angry as i am.

my favorite character would have to be Moritz, not just because i am badly smitten with John Gallagher, Jr. who played him in the Original Broadway cast, but because his character is more like me: hounded by the pressure to do great, always wanting to understand the unknown, always angry. i've had days when i really want to kill myself.

the play here in Manila is produced by Atlantis Productions and i do hope to see it before their run ends. i also hope to see a movie of the same title with the original broadway cast.

no, i don't like it so much i can't stop talking about it.