Tuesday, October 24, 2006

what does idiot-savant and anal-retentive mean?

i finally mustered the courage to write her. i've been wanting to, for almost a decade now but i've finally found a way. i grew some balls and wrote her a letter.

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i had no idea what to say. i wanted to make it interesting enough to make her write back but not too clingy to sound stalker-like. i mean, it's like hunting down j.d. salinger just to ask him why holden caulfield was so fucked up or ask barry manilow if he was singing to a girl named "amanda" before he turned gay or if he was really singing to guy named named mando, hence, the title "mandy" for short or if he was singing to a dog. was he singing to a dog?

hopefully i will get to talk to her. or something.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

another week ended, another one about to start . . . NOT AGAIN!!!

so we finish another week and i am just so excited about the weekend, if only so i can sit down in front of the TV and watch the CSI marathon. or sleep. trying to sleep actually. with emphasis on TRYING.

sleep. so hard to come by.

so my good friend, Sven, texted me. now, we know he's alive. or at least, his phone is.

no word from jade or link. galeng, galeng.

no word from you too. iloveyou. i love to wring your neck when i get the chance. i'll see you again. and when i do, i'll make sure YOU won't forget ME.

spent after shift with my gal pals until their crushes, or should i say, ex-crushes join our table and be their loud selves. i don't find them interesting.

when i get home, i'm going to treat myself to a bath and sleep my fat ass off. DST starting soon.

by the time i wake up i have to go to work again. fuck.

***
did you feel the earth move? under your feet? did you feel the sky tumbling down? tumbling down?

I DID.

at first, i thought i was just dizzy but i don't really know anyone who would feel woozy sitting down. then my PC at work and the table was moving along with my head. it happened once, twice, THREE TIMES early in the morning. probably around 1am-ish. i can't remember when the other time was. i was too busy taking calls.

so did you? or were you too deep in your sleep to care?

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

orange and lemons for breakfast (dinner for call center agents actually)

i was so elated to find out that Orange and Lemons were performing in the morning. at first, i thought it was Havi producing the show again but it turns out, the show was sponsored by Jam 88.3 and SML. yes, i like my beer in the morning, or lunch, thank you.

it was an opportunity for call center people to watch their favorite band perform and party. CallaLily was there but when we arrived they were done playing which was a big bummer because i heard they were great.

we got to hang out with the band after they performed because for some weird reason, Anj, Ryan A. , Jackie and i were strategically positioned ahead of everybody else (it wasn't near the stage and i am so frigging short but we managed to kick somebody off that table). Mcoy was telling me how he preferred Anj's legs (arms, he was talking about her arms and my arms) better than mine, that they met with Havi and might do another one of them call center collaborations with him again, that i should take care of my legs. things like that. he was so sweet. they were all sweet. that's what i like about O&L: nothing has changed since i first met them at Gweilo's Makati until now that you can hear their songs playing left and right. we even told them about the Century Tuna gig at Market! Market! Clem and Mcoy were laughing their pants off when they learned that Johanna, Anj and i had to buy cans of tuna just to get in. i even thought it was trying hard band covering Orange and Lemons. when we got down, Orange and Lemons nga!

i also got to hang out with people from my previous work. and i met some new people. i also met YOU. hmp.

it was fun. i hope to do that again soon.

***

it shouldn't be this way: you shouldn't forget me. i'm the one who normally says things that kinda stick to people for them not to forget about me. YOU, I HATE YOU. because you did it to me first, you did something out of remarkable that made me not stop thinking about you. I HATE YOU. and you know what, i don't even think you're that smart or that nice or that attractive. you just fucking smell good. I HATE YOU.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

when God closes a door, He gives you a Starbucks mug

just when you thought that there was no good in the world, the Lord will surprise you. you will know that you will see the good in other people if you let them see the good in you.

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what i got is actually bigger than this and i believe, more expensive. i honestly don't think i deserve it; any person would have done what i did. but then she goes, "nobody does that anymore, bels!!!" it made me cry because here i was whining that good work, good honest work doesn't get rewarded anymore. but it actually pays to be patient. again, patience is a virtue and i'm glad i have a lot of it.

good things, great things come to those who wait. life is unfair so we wait until it becomes fair. justice may be blind or actually, she has this thing in her eyes. but it'll clear up sooner than you might think.

so we wait.

Friday, October 06, 2006

foo head, radio fighter

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two of the most remarkable singer/songwriters to my mind are dave grohl and thom yorke. surprisingly, i have none of their albums in my collections of CDs or audio tapes at home. i'm starting to collect now, though.

it's amazing how these two men can put into words certain feelings that most of us do feel. when we write it, it's crap, but when they put it on paper, MASTERPIECE. they say that rockers can create the greatest love songs and my, do they do. most lokal bands may not admit it, but if you listen closely to how they write right now, they may either be influenced or touched somehow by thom or dave.

you do know dave as the guy who looks like alanis morrissette (her drummer left her for him) who used to be the drummer for that great band Nirvana and you know thom as the guy who let himself be a fish in a bowl (his head was in a fishing bowl filled with water in the No Surprises video) or, if for some reason you didn't see that video, i'm sure you know Creep.

of course, embarrassing as it may, my knowledge of their songs is limited to what is mainstream, and have not had the opportunity (the money, actually) to digest their music to their full potential. but that's what i've been doing for the most part of my free time when i'm not trying my best to sleep or escape from work (PSG is the way to go!!!) or hang out with my friends. i'm compiling their music until i can finally say that i don't just listen to the songs they play at NU or K-Lite or Jam, i know the B-sides too!

from the Foo Fighters, so far, i have Walking After You, My Hero, Everlong, Big Me (yes, the Footos video is hilarious), Learn to Fly, Best of You, I'll Stick Around, damnit, i still have a long way to go.

from Radiohead, i have Stop Whispering, High and Dry, Karma Police, No Surprises, the theme song of almost everybody, Creep (made more popular by Marty Casey and Lucas Rossi of Rockstar) and the very heartwrenching Fake Plastic Trees. yes, i wish i could be who you wanted all the time, too. there's this other song from the last album before thom came out with this solo effort that i've been looking for, yeah, There, There.

i'm just not in my right head right now. still searching for those frigging songs . . .