Friday, September 29, 2006

when you say "nothing", it should mean NOTHING; lyrics of songs i like right now

because Push The Button is better with a guy singing it.

there's this really hot song playing over NU107, currently number one on the Stairway to Seven countdown is SinoSikat's Turning My Safety Off. i swear to God, i actually thought that the song was done by a foreign act. i don't know. Kat's vocals are so hot. enticing. plus, the lyrics are impeccable. or maybe i can just relate.

i'm sorry. i'm blabbing. trees are falling everywhere. power is off on the whole of Luzon. people are swimming in rainwater. the whole country is inundated. of course, i could be exaggerating because the sun is out now but stranger things have happened.

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SAFETY OFF
Words by: Nick Azarcon

I’m turning my safety off
I’m ready to talk to you
Alone

A kiss, a hug, another drink
Puts me right back to
Denial of persistent memory

I’m watching you
Make a fool of you
Over and over again

You can leave the fire open
It’s not dying anyway
It’s not dying anyway
It’s not dying anyway

I’m turning my safety off
Unclasping my guarded moments
For you

Nothing here is apropos
And I’m crying out to saints and sinners alike
I’m giving you all the soul I’ve got
Again and again and again

You can leave the fire open
It’s not dying anyway
It’s not dying anyway
It’s not dying anyway

You can leave the memory open
It’s not dying anyway
It’s not dying anyway
It’s not dying anyway

I’m turning my safety off
I’m ready to fall in love with you
Over & over & over again

this next song is nice. i want him/her to sing it to me.

i wish.

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Chasing Cars
Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

***
people, when you say "nothing happened", it doesn't mean "no penetration", it really means NOTHING HAPPENED. if you swap salivas and explored body parts by means of fondling, licking and what have you, it's not nothing, THAT'S SOMETHING, but it's just not PENETRATION.

when you say "make love", you only do that with somebody passionately in love with. that's special. other than that, it is the meeting of the flesh, penetrated skin or not. it's sex. no other way of putting it.

according to the great Jessica Zafra, hypocrisy is also obscene.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

this is such a sweet song. hope someone will sing it to me.

i've heard this performed by O&L when they were still performing at the Tequila shows and i'm glad that certain stations are already playing it, in line with a particular shampoo brand advertisement. but it's cute. really.

Let Me
(Castro-Fundales)
Orange & Lemons

You turn my head
But instead I feel so lonely
I feel for you, I've got to say
You put a spell on me
I opened my eyes, softly and wide
Lovely flower you're my sunshine
I opened my eyes, softly and wide
Lovely flower you're my sunshine

Light is filtering
Your eyes are glimmering
Let me hold you
Let me hold you

I think that it's a sign
You've opened up the inner creases of your mind
Let me kiss you
Let me kiss you

Hope is signalling
Happiness is beckoning
Let me love you
Let me love you

I think that it's a sign
No more walls to keep me by your side
Let me touch you
Let me touch you

now, isn't that something?

***
Link and i are talking again. hopefully smiling again. i need to get Jade off my head.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

the little girl in me

of course, i am a little girl.

but two saturdays ago, since i was so depressed with jade, my friends decided they wanted to cheer me up and reunite me with the child within. HENCE, these pictures taken from Toys R Us in Robinsons Galleria.

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i always loved the carebears.

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i wish this was you, but it's not.

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yes, patrick and i both have big tummies.

thanks, guys. i needed that.  but i'm still sad. it's hard, like i said, when the people whom you expect to be with you, or the people whom you value very much, are the ones that make you feel that you do not deserve to be loved.

"I'm not like the girls that you've known, but I believe I'm worth coming home to. Kiss away night, this girl only sleeps with butterflies. So go on and fly, boy" - Tori Amos, Sleeps With Butterflies

***

boi bitch and i are fascinated with this song. just so happens i saw the video for it and i didn't know it was directed by she great marie jamora. for those who like hale or those who think champ looks like mikey of ciudad or just want to take a shot at dissing hale, this one is for you.

i do watch shows other than rockstar

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i was so sad that in the final episode of CSI: NY, we see Detective Flack on a state of coma. we didn't want to see that hot detective's insides and the blood gushing out of his body. but that's how violence is, when it hits you. hopefully the guy will wake up and do more than squeeze Detective Taylor's hand on the upcoming season.

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the original CSI will be coming soon on AXN, either middle of September or early October, so that's something to look forward to as well. that last scene with Sarah and Grissom together, with that killer line, "I'm not ready to say goodbye" really got to me. what?! they're together?! have to wait for that, seriously.

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what is Eric trying to hide that's why he's not so visible? we all know that we so hated the idea of Ryan losing one eye on that last episode. kadiri, di ba? but we will soon be able to unravel the many mysteries of Horatio Caine and his staff.

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of course, there's House. you have to hand it to this guy. the man's Brit but he gets away with the American accent, effortless. the man's a genius!!! and i am referring to both the actor and his character.

"The great thing about telling somebody they're dying is it tends to focus their priorities. You find out what matters to them. What they're willing to die for. What they're willing to lie for. " - Dr. Gregory House, Three Stories

i couldn't agree more.

***
i am currently so crazy over Starsailor's version of Push the Button. you should hear it. i mean, i loved Sugababes, but only when Mutya was still there. i kinda got sick and tired of hearing the song over and over and over and over again. but now that i've heard Starsailor's cover, damnit, i have to get it!!! can't get enough of it. it's so cute. promise!

Saturday, September 16, 2006

tommy lee + gilby clarke + jason newsted + lukas rossi = a SUPER band without a NOVA name

LUKAS WON!!!

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not the really popular choice for other people. i kinda knew it from the moment i saw the dude. it was either him or dilana. toby was a strong contender but i don't think they thought he wanted it enough.

you have to admit, the little punk from Toronto has attitude.

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so here's the band and their new vocalist.

this is the only time i liked a guy who wore more make up than i do. after Duran Duran.

can't wait for the album to come out.

but they said that a Southern California band sued CBS for taking that name and making a band and reality show out of it.

oh, crap. i have better things to do.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

the search for the Philippine Idol is a lonely useless search

my friend brian has been bugging me to watch Philippine Idol. he was even bugging me to join it. i wanted to, like be this kid who brings the rock in the the pop that is the basis of the competition. but, given the kind of people we have here in the R. P., i don't think i'll even make it to the semis. or anything. everybody's in to pop and love songs and all those high notes to the point that you'll pull a nerve. that's what's a hit here. if you want to win, you have to be really really pretty and can carry a tune. you don't have to be marvelous. YOU JUST HAVE TO BE PRETTY.

right now, there are two people brian wants me to watch out for: Paw, the lesbian and Mau, whom Prof. Ryan Cayabyab himself gave a standing ovation to.

they won't win. they'll just pass by our TV sets. only way they'll make it is through the wild card. i passed by the site for Philippine Idol, they don't even have pictures of the contestants or their profiles. and you see comments on the message board about the contestant's weight, not her voice. see? whatever happened to talent, hard work?! we base our votes on how they smile and project on camera and not on how they sing?!

wait a minute, i just remembered something: OUR POLITICAL SYSTEM!

why do i even bother?

will you look at that? my friend has a video of their band's song on the net

i think i've mentioned here more than once that the lead vocalist for Bagetsafonik, Ace Cada, is my best friend from high school. i got to check emails from the office (since my PC has conveniently conked out on me AGAIN!) and i found out that the video for the single Automatik is already out on the net. o di ba, bongga! i'm sooo green with envy.



Paolo looks really cute in this video, so does Tom, and Doi and Markus (told you i know their names. we're not close, but i know their names, damnit!). i can't wait for their album to come out. i always knew that guy with a mole will come out with his own album, own video, etc. someday. well, here it is.

for more information about the band, you can log on to http://launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/bagetsafonik

Monday, September 11, 2006

everybody wants the pretty girl to win; i want the girl who looks like a pretty boy

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my dad and i were watching the match between Maria Sharapova and Justine Henin-Hardenne. it was a very interesting match, filled with “aahhs”, “oohs” and come on’s. even with all these Jessica Zafra books talking about tennis, i still can’t get it. but i want to learn about it, though.

anyway, it was a very interesting match and i really enjoyed watching her. she is pretty.

***
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i caught a glimpse of America’s Next Top Model cycle 5 and i am so loving Kim. it's so nice to see a lesbian join a reality show that is in no way feminine but i'm glad that she is able to hold her own against the bitches in that house. she looks so hot and innocent and yet she can walk the walk. i know there's no way in hell she'll win because i don't think they'd pick a lesbian supermodel. but then you remember Gia Carangi, right?

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Sunday, September 10, 2006

cleaning out my closet

i’m trying to get rid of some of the junk in my room. according to well-meaning friends who sat through about 3 or 4 hours of me just trying to rationalize this whole “jade thing” i have going, i have to keep myself busy. they were finally able to convince me that i have been in love with jade all these years and i just have to face my fear and verbalize it. so after i got sick of listening to Skunk Anansie and her heart-wrenching falsettos, i decided i’d pop some of the vcds i bought that i haven’t watched, like Reality Bites. yes, when i am depressed, i turn to Wynona Ryder and Ethan Hawke. i especially wanted to hear Janeane Garofalo mouth the words, “sex changes everything!”. very timely, i should say.

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several garbage bags later, i come across this paper that dates back to the 1990s. it made me cringe, seriously. it had what appeared to be a poem i wrote for somebody, apparently a guy who was my friend. i will let the horrifying letter/poem/whatever speak for itself:

kung nalalaman mo lang ang nadarama ko
di ka sana magiging ganyan
kung batid mo sana ang sikreto ko
baka di mo ako sinaktan
matagal na akong humahanga sa’yo
ngunit ito’y aking nilihim
kaligayahan na’ng maging kaibigan mo
kahit masakit sa damdamin
tiwala mo’y di minsan ginamit
sa’yong puso baka mapalapit
sa halip ay minahal kita ng tunay
na di humahanap ng anumang kapalit


okay, that just made me barf having to type it here. can you spell "PATHETIC"?! when i finally get to the scene where Ethan and Wynona start making out, Skunk’s voice starts playing again, like weird background music to a very awkward scene in my life,

“i've been a friend with unbiased views and then secretly lust after you . . .
. . .you had to do someone else, you should’ve been by yourself
instead of here with me, secretly”



right now, i seek link. i need him to make me cold and unfeeling. i need him to make me smile. hmmn . . . not that kind of smile, you idiot, just the listen-to-me-so-i-can-whine-and-not-feel-so-depressed kind of smile. please.

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not everyone gets the Some-Kind-of-Wonderful ending, where the guy falls in love with his boyish best friend. Eric Stoltz is old and we don't see Mary Stuart-Masterson anymore.

still so much more to clean up. then my computer conks out again.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

never thought I'd let a rumor ruin my moonlight

so that's the way it's going to be, huh?

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it's bad enough that there are people who for no apparent reason will say bad things about you even when you didn't really do anything to violate them. it's bad enough that not everything you work your butt off really hard for doesn't, isn't given to you even though you know you deserve it. it's bad enough that the people whom you need most, the ones who really, really understand you, are not available, because they have to live their own lives and they have their own problems. some of them just make you feel unwanted period. it's bad enough that i have been losing sleep for the past two weeks and i can't do anything about it. it's bad enough to be smitten with someone who never really recognized your existence. it's bad enough that the people who are supposed to encourage you are the ones to be the first to put you down. it's bad enough that everything is bad period.

i don't want to ever feel like i don't deserve anything i want. where did i get that? oh, Ten Things I Hate About You, Patrick Verona, mouthed by the really handsome Heath Ledger. but that's what's happening: you work hard, you're really nice, you respect everybody and you happen to be really smart, by the way, you just don't flaunt it, oh, and did i mention you were nice? but you have it bad. all the time.

i don't understand why there is so much bad publicity about me. yeah, yeah, bad publicity is still publicity. but bad is still bad and i don't like it. i don't like it that people actually believe the lie better than the truth.

the nice thing about it is that, you know those little things that are supposed to at least make you smile, they're not there. ever.

and i was really trying to be happy, cheerful. i was trying to see what the light at the end of the tunnel would be since everything else is dark. well, so much for, happy. maybe we should turn this off now. you know, that mechanism for doormats? turn it off now.

i would be so pissed off if it were true.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

here, have an enema

they're at it again. and i don't know why. maybe it's because we're so hot or something.

will these people stab us in the back everytime there's a new batch coming in?

again, if i haven't said it enough: my friends and i DO NOT take advantage of people. we do not harass them. we do not sexually harass them in our parties. i do not harass people sexually; i do not take advantage of people when they are vulnerable (jade, if you're reading this, you are not allowed to answer that - - you are a consenting adult); i do not seduce people who do not consent to be violated.

i've mentioned it here before that there have been people who have tried to speak unkindly about me and my friends. i am so disappointed that people actually believe them. they, who are so easily swayed; they, who do not have their own disposition; they, who cannot make their own judgments about things and people so they have to rely on other equally stupid people to make up their minds for them.

i remember jessica zafra mentioning this in her columns (i have all of the books, except for book 6 which is with ex, M) that the gray matter in between your ears is good for something, that is why we should use it. that's why we hate the censors, right? because we don't want other people to tell us which is crap and which isn't; we want to know for ourselves the truth instead of having other all-knowing people shield it from us.

i pity these people; they have stoppers up their butts. it’s the inability to shit properly that causes the toxins to rise up back to their brains. that’s why they’re so full of crap. they have to resort to character assasination in order to gain friends. what do they call that again, crab mentality? you have to pull someone down just to elevate yourself?

i'm so sorry, but my friends and i are so much better than that. unlike most people, i don't get constipated.