Sunday, April 23, 2006

i feel so light

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i think that's pretty self-explanatory, don't you think?

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

them women i pine over

why does it matter if we talk or not? why is it such a big deal that we don't even say hi to each other? it doesn't to me. it doesn't to you. so why the fuck aren't they letting it go? we don't have to do that. if you talk to me, i'll talk to you. you can talk to me if you feel like it. but i don't want to feel obliged just because the people around us just think we should. besides, you're the one who looks like you don't want to be friends. i'm just giving back what i'm getting.

***

leave her. i won't force you to read books you don't want, nor make you listen to crap you don't want. i won't ask you to do things you don't want to do. you can do whatever you want. including me.

***

i'm not going to run after you anymore. i want to but it's getting to be so tiring that i hate it. you just let me run after you and stupid me, i fucking follow. i hate it. if you want me, you'll find me. i can't always be the one who goes around looking for you. it's too degrading, both as a woman, a lesbian, not too mention, i did graduate from law so you're stretching my patience too much. and don't give me that crap about her being a store manager. she's just a store manager and you're a supervisor because i gave you guys a headstart when i studied law. that shouldn't be the basis of your relationship with her. that shouldn't be why you're together. or is it? bottomline: you're probably not worth it, i just thought you were but i'm awake now.

***

now that i think about it, it is your fucking fault i'm not linked to anyone at the moment. you scarred me for other people. and now i can never find anyone like you, to think you're not flawless yourself. i can't find anyone i'd love the way i loved you. even if i do find someone, i don't think i can give them anything because you got everything from me. i know i don't love you anymore. i just can't love anybody else. you scarred me for life. bitch.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

patrick isn't grey and david isn't booth

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it's such a delight to see Patrick Dempsey on a regular basis. now that i think about it, he's much cuter now than he was in those movies in the 80's (can't buy me love and happy together with Supergirl Helen Slater - - yes, kids, there was a movie called supergirl. she was supposed to be Kal-El's cousin); he looked so lanky back then, unlike now. it makes me glad that he's back in the scene, much more attractive and much greater an actor now than he was before. i kinda wondered where he went since most of the 80s actors still had movies and tv appearances here and there. then patrick resurfaced over at will and grace as will's love interest, it was so overwhelming. so him playing the really hot Dr. Shepard is delightful, to say the least. Ellen Pompeo is one lucky woman.

call me crazy but i still can't get used to David Boreanaz a.k.a. Angel wearing a suit instead of a leather jacket. damnit, i can't even get used to the fact that he can actually have a scene where he's out in the sun now. him being in a different show not surrounded by witches and demons takes a lot of getting used to. of course, i do appreciate the "kilig" scenes with him and Emily Deschanel but it's still a bit freaky.

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this was a very horrible performance. i don't have anything against people from the country but i think kellie is banking too much on the sweet naive girl image. she gets away with it most of the time even when she's a little off key here and there. this was ok but Constantine's performance last year of Bohemian Rhapsody is way better than this one. way better. i hope kellie gets the boot soon.

something to pass the time with when on avail a.k.a. Harry Potter may have had zits too

i recently discovered that there are copies of certain interesting books on the Adobe reader of the computer system we use for work. when i say interesting books, i am referring to the Da Vinci Code, the Digital Fortress, and Harry Potter books 5 and 6, The Order of the Phoenix and The Half-blood Prince, respectively. i think the people who were originally assigned for my new split had a lot of time on their hands and needed some amusement during idle time, hence, the E-books abovementioned are incorporated in the system.

anyway, i made the mistake of reading Harry Potter 6 first, before i read book number 5. i didn't know which came after the Goblet of Fire and i just read the folder which i saw first. over the first few pages i was thinking, hey, i'm kinda missing something and then i got so immersed, i said, oh well, might as well finish it. brian didn't tell me after i was done with book 6 that Order of the Phoenix should've come first. but that's not the point: the story is just getting better and better that i wish i could have a copy of all of the books so that if i have kids in the future (yeah, like, that'll happen anytime soon), they'd have something to read and learn a lot from.

also, i love that some people are finally getting some action done. i mean, i was beginning to think these kids were super human; so busy saving the world from evil that they don't have time to experience zits, detention, school crushes. it's a relief that they're, you know, human. i kinda imagine this kid with this kid and how they were going to do its film version,and i'm so excited. without giving too much away, i'm really glad that Harry Potter is acting like a teenager, not just concerned with magic and avenging his parents' murder, but going through that other hell dimension they call adolescence, that stuff. because you don't just save the world from evil. you save yourself too, right?

oh well, can't wait for the movie version.

Monday, April 10, 2006

perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

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you have to hand it to the British. they gave us The Beatles, James Bond, Harry Potter, Coldplay, Jude Law, etc. they can also talk about sex, make it sound funny and not have to offend you. that's what they had in mind when they thought up the show entitled Coupling.

this is the show where i learned that if a guy/girl tells you how wonderful you are and they were breaking up with you, how wonderful you are would be directly proportional to how painful it is when they break your heart. it is also the show that said that man invented fire not because he wanted to cook, but because he wanted to see naked bottoms in the dark. and yes, this line was supposed to be offensive, but i found it funny anyway:

"I like films with lesbians in them because it’s nice to think there are attractive women out there who can’t find a boyfriend"

this show is entertaining, i tell you. no matter how many times they show the reruns on cable, i just can't seem to get enough of it. it is amusing, to say the least. the British may seem to always have stoppers up their butts when it comes to being conservative and what-not, but this show overthrows that theory. you would hear the word "vagina" faster than you can say"SSHH!!!". the show is very open and funny and liberating, without scenes of people having sex in the show and yet they toy about it with such finesse. it is so different from Pinoy humor, with reference to sex. anyway, i hope some of the Pinoy writers can learn a thing or two about sexual humor from this show. there's so much sex on the boob tube anyway. oops, i said "boob".

blond, james blond

i grew up watching james bond movies. i probably watched every single one of them as a kid, only i don't remember all of the storylines now. i loved the songs that they played every pre-title sequence, i loved the gadgets, the cars. i loved the women (you have to admit that as the movies get better, the women get stronger unlike before where they just hopped into bed with him). the moment the man walks out of the little circle to point his gun to the audience and the orchestra plays the theme, i'm gone, totally in awe. of course, when the scene becomes too sexy or too violent, my mother would cover my eyes, but i loved it anyway.

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the best of all the actors who had played james bond, i should say, would be Sir Sean Connery. he made the spy become real, human, magnificent, yet funny. next would be Pierce Brosnan. he wasn't only the most attractive of them, he gave the agent a sense of humor. but i loved each and every one of them. all the previous james bond actors had a certain flair you'd admire, the same way you'd love the spy they were bringing to life with each movie.

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i'm not sure what to make of a blond james bond. i'm not saying a blond james bond would be dry, slow and inefficient but having watched all these bond movies, it may take a while getting used to. can he save the planet from terrorists without ruining his hair, how much product will he need as compared to a james bond with black hair, stuff like that. with the previous james bond actors, there was stealth that accompanied the black hair. with this one, i don't know yet. i just don't know what to make of it. we'll see.

Monday, April 03, 2006


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Sunday, April 02, 2006

why do they have to have the same initials?

i have this crush at work (yes, i finally found someone worth looking forward to when going to word) and she’s so cute. in a quaint way, she reminds me of K although their only similarities are that both of them are fair-skinned and petite. she’s sooo cute. she had me at, “pautang ng yosi”. she looks so brilliant. i haven’t really gotten to know her that much but she looks smart enough.

Crush and C have the same initials; their first names both start with C.A. i’d call Crush C as well but i’d get confused. after all, there is that “air in between” (as Johanna, my friend, the coach, puts it) C and me. when i say C, i’m referring to the lesbian who is not my crush who often messes up my subconscious by making guest appearances in my dreams. according to Brian, C and I have sexual tension which will only be removed if C and I were to at least kiss and make out. yeah right. Crush and I are sorta talking, which is good. i get to ask her questions about my split and we occasionally get to smoke together. C, on the other hand, only gets to smoke when she’s with my friends at work. even if she’s with my friends and me, we don’t talk. so maybe there is that air in between. i have to come to terms with the idea that i do like her.

i transferred to a seat nearer Crush because that’s the spot where most of the people with the same split stay and i don’t want to pull my team stats down whenever i have to walk to the other side of the bay just to ask questions. besides, whenever i see Crush, i don’t miss having to see C in front of me, although it took getting used to, since we were in front of each other for months. but i’m happy where i stay right now. i don’t have to stare so far away just to see crush.

their nicknames sound almost the same, though, too. hmp.

okay, so now i’m just unhappy

i haven’t been able to blog lately because for almost a month now, i have not had a maid or someone who will do most of the things i don’t have to. apparently, our stay-out maid was pregnant and no one in the house ever really noticed because she’s always been really big that no one would assume that she was indeed pregnant. we didn’t know until the day she gave birth. amazing, isn’t it?

so i do most of the chores and still go to work and take care of everyone else (brian now works in the same company i’m in, part of his moving on and forgetting the ex-bit, although he’s still struggling in that department) but not really getting anywhere. then there was this agony of waiting for bar results that never really became favorable to me. it is frustrating because i did work much harder this year and had i not passed, i wished some other human being who mattered to me would’ve made it. no, M didn’t pass. so did E and most of my friends, which was more disappointing than not making it myself.

doing most of the chores at home, being alone most of the time, i get to notice how long i’ve been alone, and lonely and unloved. i kept on thinking that i don’t really mind being alone, lonely, unhappy as long as i’m one alone, lonely, unhappy lawyer.

so now i’m just, unhappy.