Sunday, July 24, 2005

the word for today is wistful

ever since the band HALE came out, the word wistful has been used every so often to describe the band, its music and the eyes of the band's vocalist. his name is Champ, by the way. he looks a little like Mikey of Ciudad and they have been compared a lot lately because of the resemblance. of course, they are very much different because Ciudad's music is strangely jolly and Hale's music, like i said, is described as WISTFUL. sometimes it bothers me, do some of the people who describe the band as wistful actually know what it means, or are they just joining the hype?

whether he's singing or smiling, the eyes, as Quark pointed out, make you feel like you're drowning in them. Quark is straight, by the way.

this afternoon i got to see Hale perform twice: the first was their guest appearance in this Sunday noontime variety show and the second was their live performance in this local music video station. they're good. i just don't like the way the hosts of the variety show sorta ruined the song.

boi bitch commented that there should be a provision in the Constitution which bans variety show hosts from jamming with legit local rock bands. I AGREE. they should also stop affixing the word "band" everytime they introduce a, well, band. because while we love the exposure to the masa that these bands will get, you don't exactly like them to be bastardized in front of national tv. you don't say, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome The Sandwich Band!" or the "put your hands together for the Moonstar88 band!". these bands wracked their brains out to think of a good name for themselves, the least these idiot hosts could do is get it right. and why should Martin Nievera or Gabby Eigenmann or Janno Gibbs be in the picture? put them back as hosts and just leave whoever's playing and singing the band duties.

anyway, the songs by Hale i've been hearing so far are good. they're deep, poetic, wistful (again, that word). although tina had to comment that she can't stomach singing something grammatically incorrect (to be is all i gotta be and all i can be), the words are so carefully written and sung that you don't really notice that it is grammatically incorrect. besides, it's on top of most music charts this week so it either means the song is good or a lot of us have to go back to school and study our subject-verb agreement.

i'd rather that the song is good.

does this shit look like Kitchie Nadal's website to you?

i'm a big fan of kitchie nadal. even before wag na wag mong sasabihin hit it big on mainstream radio, i have been talking about her, blogging about her and watching her perform every chance i get. it's only now that i've been working that i don't get to pay attention to details about videos, music reviews, album sales and shit like that. seriously, when i really, really like a local artist, i'd go to great bounds just so everybody can know about that artist. most of my friends in the office now, aside from listening to what they normally listen to, check out the bands that i dig. why do you think they call me The Goddess?

anyway, it has come to my attention and great irritation that some people have been visiting this site to tell ME how much they adore kitchie nadal which is great, hurray! for the local artist. but they've been at it for so long that i kinda noticed that they actually just come to my site to tell me they like kitchie. okay. but i'm not kitchie. kitchie has her own website, her own tagboard and guestbook. why don't you go ahead and say it there? better yet, watch her gig, tell her personally. she'll like it. people who know how to read know enough that this is not kitchie nadal's website. if you want kitchie nadal, click here.

this is also NOT a meeting place for people who have no interest in blogging or what i have to say. THIS IS NOT LUNETA. i had this tagboard for people who read my blog, people who know me, who want to know me, or anybody that has some remote relation to what this blog stands for. people who also bloghop from other sites who read the people i read are welcome here but not the people who just feel like crashing somebody else's house to ruin it. you know, pardon my words, but those stupid people who saw something, felt they couldn't make their own so they decided they'd just crash into yours. YOU DON'T SAY "I LOVE YOU" TO EACH OTHER ON MY TAGBOARD. HELLO?! you have your cellphones for that. and if you want to go one step further to make him/her feel special, you say it on the internet on YOUR tagboard.

i wouldn't be as pissed or as mean if i didn't meet drew, this guy who used to be on shelo's team. i mean, i am pissed, who wouldn't be? you spend time and effort into making something your own then jologs people ruin it. anyway, drew is cool. he's so cute and he plays good guitar and he says that ralph is one of those guys who proved my conspiracy theory. so if you are any one of these stupid people who tell kitchie how much they love her HERE in my blog or tell their loved ones how much they miss each other HERE in my blog, BACK OFF.

anyway, this song, Ugly Girl by Fleming and John, keeps on playing in my head, especially when i see a cute guy/girl i like with a girl that proves my theory. it sounds bitter, i know, but i do have a point.

Friday, July 15, 2005

just a few more days

okay, so i've already filed my petition for the Bar Exams, again. i've already filed my resignation, truly now. i saw her too. and we ignored each other.

this is funny or weird, at least: i am known in UE, UST, SBC and CLG as "Mommy Bels", right? it just so happens that their term of endearment is "papa" and "baby". she filed her reservation for the hotel housing, i filed mine. my name was next to hers. sorry, eh sa 'yan ang name ko. hanap kayo ng bagong tawagan niyo sa isa't-isa. basta, si Mommy Bels ako. and then, i make dedma.

imagine what i could accomplish if i really set my mind to it.

i also met shao today at the MRT station. i was initially really embarrassed to approach her because i was wearing this really short skirt (courtesy of anna, who insisted it was actually very long) and i didn't want to come out like a stalker who kept on staring at her. we talked for a while until i had to go because i had to fix resignation details with my manager and rush to the sleeping quarters. it is a crowded place, you know. it is a small world, isn't it?

i've also emailed some of my customers who have been really nice to me, because they might look for me to assist them when i'm gone. there's this one jewish guy who wouldn't answer my friendster invitation because, "he wanted to keep me for himself", whatever that means and this gay couple who have been together for the last twenty years. one of them was so grateful to me for helping them with the phone bill because they would have broken up after 20 years of companionship if i didn't help them fix it.

i have to get used to sleeping at night again. i have to find myself a dorm/condo unit. i have to read.

i'm really preparing myself for the inevitable. i am going to do this. i am going to study. i will leave whatever baggage i have in this office, i will forget all those who refuse to acknowledge my existence. i will keep the good memories. i will be wary of the bad ones and make sure i learn my lesson. i will forget him.

like i said, i'm invincible. i am the Goddess.

the Goddess will be leaving the building soon. make those courtesy calls, people. =)

Thursday, July 14, 2005

stop the world, stop the world, i wanna get off

Currently feeling: pensive
Currently listening to: harder to breathe by maroon 5

Of course, there are other things I can talk about other than Ralph Perron.

I rarely talk about what’s currently happening in the metro, maybe because I haven’t really been in touch with what’s going on in general to begin with. I’m either at work, at school, or sleeping. Our cable TV is ruined and the only shows I get to see when I’m at home are Darna and Encantadia, so where’s the news there, right? It’s not that I’m apathetic to what’s happening, I’m probably just disillusioned.

I remember when I was a kid, I used to wish for the wars between countries to stop and thought that if I wished hard enough, the older people would actually listen. It’s sooo elementary. When I got older, I keep hearing beauty pageant contestants wish for world peace which I think is asinine. I’m still idealistic in some ways, although now, especially since I studied law, I realize that it’s not that easy to change the system no matter how much you want to or say you will never let it eat you up.

I wish for more than world peace now: now I wish for a greener environment (I say that even if I am such a chain smoker); I wish for equal opportunities in the workplace for both women and men; I wish for gay and lesbian couples to be given a right to marry and adopt children; I wish for stricter laws against child abuse, white slavery, and hate crimes and so on and so forth. I want to live in a world where there is no discrimination against people and I can be prosecuted as a woman if I touch a man in his private areas without his consent. Bigger things, because I‘m older now and I know now that it’s not as easy wishing it and talking about it than actually making it happen. It is possible although I can’t help but feel scared knowing that with just one push of a button of some goddamn demented person’s little fingers, this world as we know can just go kaput.

I want to live in a country where men will go to jail for raping little girls and make sure they don’t get to win in congressional elections. I want to live in a country where people do not use God as a means of advancing themselves financially. I want to live in a country where the police arrive just in time, not after the crime is done. I want to live in a country where I can actually see the taxes doing wonders for me and my safety. I want to live in a country where I’m sure who the bad guys really are.

I also want to live in a country where people learn from history: We shouldn’t keep voting people who make themselves richer while we starve. We should be able to make up our minds. We shouldn’t keep voting people because they know how to sing, dance and act; we vote for them because they’re actually capable of running our government. We should know when to stop going to the streets to get what we want – there’s actually a process, we should follow it and only go to the streets when the process sucks and people are obviously rigging it. We can’t just keep on changing administrations just because some people feel like it. This country isn’t just about Metro Manila; we actually do have other cities facing more relevant issues other than power-tripping like poverty, drug addiction, prostitution, you know, trivial things like that.

I suddenly have a headache. no wonder I don't write about this shit.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

do you still remember this song?

this song keeps ringing in my ear everytime my friends in the office and i talk about my resignation.

go figure.

Wishing On The Same Star

It's so hard to leave you
I don't really wanna go
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
It's the last thing I wanna do
But I won't be sad now
Cause 'til you're in my arms again
You'll be inside of my heart
And wherever I go
We'll never really be apart

We'll be wishing on the same star
Looking at the same moon
When you're thinking of me, baby
I'll be thinking of you
And no matter where I go
I will be there with you
Wishing on the same star
Looking at the same moon

It's not really over
Baby, it will never be
Long as you keep me in your heart
I'll be there anywhere you are
And when you feel sad
Remember all the love we shared
And when you're feelin alone
Well, just look up in the sky
Oh, and baby, so will I

We'll be wishing on the same star
Looking at the same moon
When you're thinking of me, baby
I'll be thinking of you
And no matter where I go
I will be there with you
Wishing on the same star
Looking at the same moon

No matter where you turn around
It's the same sun that keeps shining down
Wherever we'll be, I know that we'll be
Wishing on the same star

We'll be wishing on the same star
Looking at the same moon
When you're thinking of me, baby
I'll be thinking of you
And no matter where I go
I will be there with you
Wishing on the same star
Looking at the same moon

Saturday, July 09, 2005


i'm such a butch-magnet. i don't know why. to think i'm such a flirtatious boyish little bitch.

maybe this is a sign.


while other people would kill to hug me, well, not really kill, but they're the ones who want to get to know me than me wanting to know them (again, overflowing with confidence here), some people just don't want to have anything to do with me.

take ralph, for example. i have this guy, this butch, this other guy and that guy and that girl, running after me. but i don't like them that way. i like him, i love him na nga ata eh, but he doesn't want to have anything to do with me. except maybe the daily rations of chocolate.

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i'm like a big ego booster for this asshole. i don't think anybody at work, except for the people who know him already, would have noticed him until i blurted out, actually, spread the word, that i like him. I AM NOT KIDDING. i am practically nanay ng bayan, miss congeniality, at work. not bad for somebody who's only been working there for the last seven months. add to that the fact that my resigning created problems for management, I AM INVINCIBLE. I AM NOTORIOUS. then this schmuck just ignores me like a disease.

the more you ignore me, the closer i get
you're wasting your time
the more you ignore me, the closer i get
you're wasting your time

maybe i'm just not good enough for him, considering that i'm so fucking hot and pretty and smart. the guy's just allergic to women smarter than he is. i should've been more powerful with the way i whacked his head, like whack him hard his head would jam the PC monitor he was facing. people even said i was cheap for liking him. even his best friend thinks he's an asshole with really bad breath (although this thought is kinda kinky since they're always together that you think something deeper is going on even if they both say they're straight) and that i shouldn't wait on him.

i didn't even touch him, and he goes, "NO!!!" like i was violating him already.

"ang yabang mo, 'kala mo ang gwapo-gwapo mo ah!"

yeah, but i keep talking about him here. he has a point. but he doesn't even know that.

i'll forget you, YOU SCHMUCK. and when i'm gone, you'll miss me. people will be talking about me long after i leave the office and you'll just be the guy Mommy Bels had a crush on.

Friday, July 08, 2005

How's Your Taste in Music?

Your Taste in Music:

80's Alternative: Highest Influence
80's Pop: Highest Influence
90's Alternative: Highest Influence
90's Pop: High Influence
Adult Alternative: High Influence
80's R&B: Medium Influence
90's Rock: Medium Influence
Alternative Rock: Medium Influence
Punk: Medium Influence
90's Hip Hop: Low Influence
90's R&B: Low Influence
Classic Rock: Low Influence
Dance: Low Influence
Hair Bands: Low Influence
Old School Hip Hop: Low Influence
R&B: Low Influence

Thursday, July 07, 2005

obsessing about someone else for a change

i haven't seen him for a very long time and every time i'd text him, he wouldn't text back. but when he saw me today, even in the middle of class, he got out and showed me how much he missed me.

of course he didn't clobber me with kisses. but he missed me. he was the one who kissed me and told me he missed me. i missed him, yeah. BUT HE MISSED ME.this tall thin cute guy with dimples missed me.

this guy is younger and more attractive than ralph. this guy can sing me a song and play the guitar for me at the top of his head. this guy can answer a question in law better than ralph. this guy is nicer than ralph, definitely.

kasi nga, dimples pa lang, ulam na.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005


i am so fucking pissed. i am supposed to be just be here until the 15th of july. but, due to circumstances beyond my control, i have to be on a segment i don't have anything against being in but i'd have to study and go to work, not to mention, get this asshole's attention, all at the same time. almost getting it, but not quite.

how do you expect your daughter to pass the frigging bar exams and bring home money at the same time? how do you expect her to survive?

how do you expect to keep my friendship if you don't even exert effort to protect my interest? what, just because i don't make as many points as i used to?

how do you expect me to continue wooing you if you continue to be such an asshole? i mean, there's only so much my patience can take and to tell you very honestly, my patience is wearing thin. if you don't like me, say so. you and your attitude problem. or else, i'd really think you and her have a lot in common.

how do you expect me to stay here in this company if your system sucks? you keep on firing the nice people and you have so many fucked up rules that make your reps want to leave.

you know what's even weirder? i went back to where i used to be, after i've already trained for a week or so with the other segment. funnier, they didn't make me get any sleep. i even keep hearing news that if i go back to my old segment, that i won't leave anymore. hello?! THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU TRANSFER ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

this is all so frustrating.

Monday, July 04, 2005

my song for you, even if you don't deserve it. you don't deserve me, actually.

Sleeps With Butterflies by Tori Amos

Take you away again
Are you flying
Above where we live
Then I look up a glare in my eyes
Are you having regrets about last night
I'm not but I like rivers that rush in
So then I dove in
Is there trouble ahead
For you the acrobat
I won't push you unless you have a net

You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly then boy

Look good from on the ground
I fear with pins and needles around
We may fall then stumble
Upon a carousel
It could take us anywhere

You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly boy

Saturday, July 02, 2005

am i a good kisser?

You scored as Romantic Kisser. Good for you! You know how to kiss and hopefully you have a certain someone to experience a surge of happiness with. If not, it doesn't hurt to flirt kiss a little hehe. Just don't get carried away. Romantic kissing is always a plus! Kissing is an art keep it up and you'll be really good!

Here are some tips: 1. Be ready 2. no smoking 3. start slow 4. up the intensity 5. develop rhythm 6. change it up 7. pay attention to hands 8. experiment 9. respond 10. repeat

Romantic Kisser


Yippy Ki Yay!


You're more of a class act than you're giving yourself credit for


How good do you kiss?
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