Friday, January 13, 2017

angry girl journal 01.13.2017

this is pretty spot on.  no wonder whenever people try to gauge your sanity, for clinical or for interview purposes, they try to show you pictures.  it helps them determine if you're a psychopath.

i know i am good; and i'm not trying to be boastful, just honest.  certain capabilities and talents were passed on to my genes and i have been utilizing those talents as much as i can.  however, if you have spent your entire life being doubted and unappreciated by the people who should be encouraging you, it gets to you.  that no matter how great you are, you will never be good enough.  it's sad because for people who don't understand, it will all seem like you're just fishing for compliments when you're not.  you simply just have low self-esteem because it has been part of your DNA.  the great thing about it is that it always keep you pushing harder, working hard to be better, but it also kills you inside.  there's always that nagging feeling, that voice inside your head that you could've done better and that you're a disappointment to yourself.  i know because i have to overcome that thought everday. i have to tell myself everyday i can do better, but that i don't have to kill myself every time i fail because i am enough.

not-so-angry girl journal 01.13.2017

did you notice how beautiful the moon was tonight? i wanted to celebrate its beauty before i went to bed.  it's great reminder of how small we are, and no matter how many of us are here, looking at that same moon, we are all taken care of.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

not-so-angry girl journal 01.12.2017

Reinforce with good feelings, gratitude, and above all, LOVE!

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

in the end, we all become memes

memes are the in thing these days and we all have seen and probably even laughed at one.  we are in the digital age after all.

an internet meme has been defined as an idea, behavior, or style, that has been spread from person to person within a culture.  it is an image, video or piece of text, typically humorous in nature, that is copied and spread rapidly by internet users, often with slight variations.  basically, anything anyone does now can be turned into a meme, if one's not careful.

i discovered Dankland through a friend.  their tagline is simple:  where dreams become memes.  all you have to do is message them a photo and they will turn it into a meme.

and so a meme i have become:

some people simply have so much time on their hands.  

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Sunday Beauty Queen: you do everything for family

i remember watching the movie Edna and how depressed i was after seeing it.  for a woman to have to leave her family to go to abroad in order to take care of someone else's home, children and pets and treat them as their own for a fee, it is an extremely difficult choice to make.  these are hardworking women, some if not all of them have degrees, end up cleaning other people's toilets in a different country whose only form of recreation to look forward to is the beauty pageant held every Sunday.

Hazel.  Leo.  Mylyn.  Cherrie.  to us, they're just random names.  but they're someone's mother, sister, daughter, wife, girlfriend, friend.  they all made a choice:  to stay in the Philippines with their families but penniless and starving or to work in another country, despite hardships to give them a better life.  not all of them are treated properly, fairly, but they suck it in for the sake of their loved ones.

it's disappointing to hear that Sunday Beauty Queen is in danger of being pulled out of theaters because of its supposedly poor performance at the box office. here is an opportunity for us to see how our loved ones try to overcome their homesickness overseas, how much they want to go back to the country but can't, won't, because they want to be able to fulfill the dreams of family back home. it showcases the Filipina's resiliency, sacrifice and love for family.  these women miss out on birthdays, graduations, holidays with their families, with the only consolation being that they can send that hard-earned money to give their loved ones a brighter future.

i hope we support all the films in this year's Metro Manila Film Festival. please allow Sunday Beauty Queen to remain in theaters until the end of the festival. it may not have any celebrities, but they feature our modern-day heroes.

Thursday, December 01, 2016

always one of the boys.

i don't remember who took this picture, but i remember asking to have it because i knew it was going to be my last year with them and they were all very fun to be with.  we would study together in the field, and they would tell me to stop smoking while we were all reading our books (they had Marketing,  and i was a law student).    we would all go to that place where they serve really good fried squid with rice at a cheap price.

they are all grown into fine men with great careers and great families and even if my time with them was short-lived, and they may not even remember but they made me feel like i belonged - a big sister and confidant.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

angry girl journal 11.23.2016

i don't understand this insane obsession with sex tapes.   i don't understand why threats are being made to present sex tapes as evidence.  why can't we present videos of people stealing money? tapes of people accepting bribes?  videos of people shredding documents that can serve as evidence to clear/implicate someone? videos of people killing material witnesses? videos of drug pushers actually  absconding or shooting the police back?   we have seen a video of a police vehicle backing up on a bunch of protesters;  of plunderers surreptitiously burying a dictator in the place where we bury our heroes; but it obviously does not mean anything.  it is not "evidence" because there is no sex involved.